Conversations with Omen VIII

“There is a look on your face Thomas that tells me you have something to ask. Your reflections and examinations of your own life do continue to please me. I hope you always feel free to ask whatever you wish to know, I am always here for you.”

Thanks Omen, I appreciate that more than I tell you. I wasn’t holding anything back, I was just trying to figure out how to put it into a question. It’s sort of complex in its own way. It’s about religion I guess; I want to know more about the religions of the world – which I know sounds unbearably huge, so let me narrow this down a little. Give all of the different religions, not only currently, but throughout history; many of them have striking similarities amongst them. Most believe in a single and powerful god, many believe in that god having assistants of some kind, i.e., angels, minions, etc.

I’m drifting off my point a little, but I guess I’m just curious why there’s so much commonality between them, many things that are often nearly identical. Even some of the ‘new age’ spiritual beliefs have a lot in common with older more traditional religions.

“Allow me a bit of leeway with my answer Thomas, it may seem unrelated at first, but will come together soon enough. Do you remember your parents telling you the story of your birth?”

Yeah, sure I do. I guess I came out backwards with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and a bit blue. My dad said it was a touch-and-go situation for a little while, but that I was a fighter and pulled through.

“Indeed, from an earthbound perspective that is a fair description of the event. Let me give you a bit of a different version though, one you have not ever heard. You were stillborn Thomas, and when revived by the attending medical staff, you died again just minutes later. The emergency medical personnel were called in, revived you once again, and you have remained ever since. With that said, there is much more to the story.”

More, what more is there? Did my parents hold back some sort of gristly details?

“No, nothing of the sort Thomas, this part is from my perspective. As you now know, I have been your guide for quite some time. I was the last one to be with you before your new earthbound life began, perhaps think of it as me being there to see you off. You had gone through a particularly difficult life in your previous incarnation, and you were not without some reservations about beginning this one so soon afterwards. We had both agreed that this was the direction that you would most benefit from choosing this specific life. Yet, in my opinion you were still in a recuperative stage – which is not completely unusual for a soul who had been through a lot. And, we had agreed that because the beginning of this life was, how shall I say it? Uneventful for quite some time, that you would be fine.”

Wait, you and I talked about my future life here before I was actually born?

“Yes Thomas, as your guide I would naturally be the one to review not only your past life, but also help you choose and acclimate to your next one. But, I now have come to realize that you were not completely ready to become earthbound again. At your moment of birth you were still struggling with some of the landmarks of your new life. You were literally late for your birth, and you were clearly unconcerned by it.”

What was the problem? Was I having second thoughts about it? Did I find out something bad was going to happen in my future and changed my mind?

“No Thomas, nothing so dramatic or purposeful. Sometimes after a particularly challenging lifetime, a soul can be overwhelmed, so to speak, by coming home. The afterlife is so very different from an earthbound one, so dramatically different that it can be a massive shift for a soul. The warmth, the sounds, the feelings are all completely different here. Suddenly you are awash in a constant feeling of love and complete acceptance. You are instantly reunited with souls you have known since you were first created, existence-long friends. It takes even experienced guides, fresh back from an earthbound life, a bit of time to re-acclimate to this long familiar home.”

“Typically you feel like it has been a very long time since you have seen and felt all of this, but then you readjust to time here, and realize it has not been very long at all. It just takes some time to readjust to everything that is the afterlife. I do believe that in your case, Thomas, you may have needed more time here. I think that you were still taking comfort from us, and that you began to feel unsafe at your birth moment. When I spoke to you at that moment, you feigned some resolve and went to your body. That was the first of your resuscitations, but you knew you had not been completely honest with me, and you left that body again to reach out to me.”

I was scared, and I wanted to come back?

“I am not sure that scared is the term I would use, perhaps unsure and unsettled are better choices. You came to me with some questions, but they were superficial ones that I saw through. You were over-thinking your future paths, and were asking for reassurance. We took a moment to revisit your goals and life plan, and to reconnect you to your own drive. You have always been a passionate soul Thomas, and that level of keen intensity works both for, and against you at times. When you commit you do so fully and completely, but when you have unanswered questions – well, you are prone to over think things, and hesitate at the gate. Simply put, you got to re-know this place and did not wish to be without all of it again. You began to think about what you would be missing by starting the earthbound life.”

Well, I’m really curious about what you said to me to convince me to come back and live my life here? It must have been one heck of a speech, or did you just push me into my little baby-body and lock me in there?

“That is very funny Thomas, and I know that you know me better than that. I, neigh, we as guides, would never coerce, or worse, force any soul to take an earthbound life they did not want. I can also assure you that I did not need to make, as you said, a heck of a speech to you.  I am not at liberty to tell you what it was I did say to you, but suffice it to say that it was brief and to the point. You accepted my reassurance and reoccupied that new little life, much to the joy of every single person in that room.”

Of course, I have no memory of any of that, from either side of the veil, but I can picture in my mind how happy my parents must have been. If I haven’t said it before now, I’m happy you said whatever it was you did to convince me to live though. Overall it’s been a pretty good life in my opinion. But, what does any of this have to do with what I asked you at first?

“Your two ‘miss-starts’ we will call them, were seen as two near-death experiences by everyone who cared to know the story. That is what brings us around to my somewhat circuitous answer to your question. Near-death experiences allow a soul a brief glimpse of the afterlife, a glimpse that is usually forgotten by the time they are firmly back in their earthbound body. But, every so often, someone will retain some bits of memory of what they saw, or felt there. Some remember the wonderful feeling of it, and others remember the sounds or even some of the things they saw there. The person’s mind tries to make sense of what they remember, but with no earthly experience to compare it to they often embellish.”

You mean they make stuff up, or fantasize things that they didn’t really see?

“Nothing so calculated I think, more along the lines of superimposed images of earthly things laid atop other images that do not make perfect sense. Take the image of angels as an example, men and women with majestic wings. Most often depicted as wearing pure white robes, and glowing halos above their heads. I think that you know from our many conversations that there would be no need for wings in the afterlife, Thomas. But, there do exist some higher guides who most often appear as tall and angular glowing light. I certainly can imagine a human remembering this as a person in white with tall wings. The human mind fills in familiar images where the abstract is too difficult to understand.”

In other words, people see an abstract form of light and later imagine an angel? Interesting. I can understand that from my own experience of when I first saw you many years ago. That very night I was sure about what I has seen and heard, but the following week I was already turning everything into something that made more sense to me.

“Now, I am sure you can also imagine that near-death experiences are not a new phenomenon amongst humans. From the time that your people were quite primitive, and just existing day to day was a dangerous challenge, they have also had near-death experiences. In the cases of the primitive humans, they would describe to their families what they remembered about being dead, but with lesser language skills it was difficult. Add, also, that they were often feared by their own people for simply surviving an event that the others believed should have killed them. But, they did not die, and were suddenly trying to tell a tale of an experience so abstract… well, they were often cast out, or worse.”

“Interestingly though, their tales lived on well past their own lives, past on from person to person for centuries. As you know, stories that are shared over time are also embellished by the different tellers. Pillars of light get wings attached to them, and are wearing pure white robes – a color that was very rare for many centuries. To some the stories were fantastic and wonderful, but to others they were frightening and dangerous tales. The notion of a consciousness after death was both exciting and frightening. They began to imagine their ancestors still living as they were when they were alive, but just invisibly. This led to the first polytheist beliefs in many societies as ancestors were elevated to a supernatural status, and imbued with various powers and control.”

“I also believe that those souls who remembered bits of the afterlife, some who had felt the warmth and love there, began to remember the Pure Love, who they simply named God. This archetype caught on in many societies around your world, with only minor variations. A singular and powerful God who had shaped everything around them, and often was believed to control all things both natural and human. For better or worse God was overseeing every aspect of human life, and not long afterwards He suddenly laid down rules to live by as well.”

So, are you telling me that the Ten Commandments are not straight from the Pure Love?

“I do not think you find that idea difficult to believe, Thomas. Perhaps you were kidding with me by asking that, but I will answer you anyway. No, they did not come from the Pure Love, they were imagined by many people over a very long period of time. In my own opinion, six of the ten were useful tenants to live by for most societies. But, as we have spoken of already, the Pure Love does not impose rules upon souls, thereby making right and wrong.”

I know that much, Omen. I’m still absorbing some of that concept even today. A being that only loves, nurtures and teaches others how to be like it is… it’s a massive sea change for me. But, back to my original question, you’re saying that the world’s religions are based on the stories that people told after near-death experiences? That’s amazing to me.

“I do believe it is another concept you will continue to ruminate on, but will eventually accept in your heart. If you consider the best parts of each religion’s tenants, teachings and lore, you will put together a puzzle that forms Pure Love.”

Conversations with Omen VII

What about the people who have done horrible things? Like the Genghis Kahn’s, or the Hitler’s? Maybe even just regular people in any given city who might be abusing children or beating their spouses; are they all part of the grand plan? I mean there have been, and still are some unbelievably screwed up people in this world, and it’s hard to see how the misery they inflict is meant to teach the rest of us something about being better souls.

“I was wondering when you might get to this question, Thomas. This is another concept that is difficult for the earthbound to understand fully. Not because you lack the ability to understand it, but because of your social and mental paradigm surrounding what you call evil. If I tell you that the concept of evil is a human construction, I can imagine that somewhere in your mind you are disagreeing with me strongly. Human societies, throughout time have embraced the idea of evil, and its effects on people. The idea has been around so long that most cannot easily accept that it is a human construction.”

Okay, I’ve got to admit, you’re right about me thinking that what you’re saying is wrong. I mean, how can there not be evil? We see it all the time, in the news, in history, and even in our own lives on occasion. There are just plain evil people out there; I just don’t see how you can say there’s not.

“Let me see if I can explain it differently for you. Beginning with the word Evil; that is the social construction I am speaking of. To label someone as evil is only saying that whatever deed they have done goes so far against current social morals and laws – that you basically have no other term for them. Think of it as labeling them as someone who will not conform to the laws and values of your society. Even humanity’s most grievous offence, murder, can be seen as perpetrated by someone who does not value the life of another. The term evil is a catch-all label for those persons who have done the most egregious acts against others.”

So, you’re saying that I’m too hung up on the term ‘evil’? Okay, I can accept that. I can see how it’s a label for people who’ve done the worst stuff, but even with no label, they’ve still done awful things to other people. I mean, taking someone’s life, or the lives of people you know or care about, is still really messed-up! Removing all the labels from their actions doesn’t change what they’ve done, Omen. Some really bad people deserve to pay a price for what they’ve done.

“I am not simply asking you to forget the terms you use for those people, Thomas. I am attempting to get you to see that those are real people who chose to defy what the rest of a society has decided are the most important values and principles to be followed. They made very bad choices, and perhaps in some cases should be isolated from the society they lived in, but so many of your punishments are simply socially sanctioned revenge, Thomas.”

“Perhaps if you consider the term ‘wrong’ as an example; since it implies that there is a ‘correct’ that balances it. To be wrong indicates that there is a right way to be, to do something wrong implies that there is a right way to do it. One might say that it is wrong to murder another human being, therefore to be right is to never murder another. Are you with me so far?”

Yeah, I get it, go on.

“Can you imagine a society forming where murdering someone is not seen as wrong? Perhaps even seen as an honorable act?”

Hmm, I don’t know Omen, that’s a tough one. I’d like to think that even primitive people just knew that killing another person without just-cause is wrong.

“Then it will surprise you to learn that there have been several societies in human history where killing someone was not always wrong. Even those who were friends, or family members, still could be killed in what was seen as an honorable fashion. In many cases the person committing the murder would actually inherit the reputation of the victim they had slain. Was it still murder in those societies? Even more recently in your own society the concept of an honorable duel was an approved method for settling certain social transgressions. Was it still a moral offense in a social system where it was approved of? My questions are rhetorical of course, and aimed to help you see this issue in a different light. Simply to allow you to think about how your own idea of what is wrong or immoral is a product of the society you were raised in.”

I don’t know about that Omen, I mean, taking someone’s life under any circumstance seems pretty immoral to me. Unless they’re trying to kill me, for no apparent reason – which then would be self-defense, I don’t think we should kill people.

“What if a murderous person was attempting to kill your child, or your spouse? Would you kill them?”

Well, yeah, I probably would, but I’d blame a lack of emotional control in those cases. I think protecting someone you really love is a special circumstance.

“Therefore you can now see that even in the modern and evolved society that you were raised in; there are still circumstances that allow for the taking of another’s life. There exist situations where killing someone is not against your laws, not even morally wrong.”

Yeah, I guess so.

“I now believe that you will be further surprised to know that here, in what you call the afterlife, there is no wrong at all. There are no mistakes, no misdeeds, no crimes, and no immorality. Every choice that a soul makes is part of their growth process, but no matter what, there simply is no wrong.”

So a soul can do whatever the hell they want to and they never get in any trouble?

“In only the most generous manner of speaking, Thomas. Perhaps if I illustrate it in a different manner it will become easier to understand. Think about raising a human infant; now think about what types of things they do that are just wrong. What sorts of trouble would a baby get into?”

None, really. Babies don’t do things wrong, or immoral – ever.

“Yet, is it possible that a baby would not nurse correctly? Can they refuse to eat the food offered to them? Do they ever crawl off to places you would rather they had not gone to? These are all things that a parent might wish would never happen, but they do happen. Yet the parent typically does not punish the infant for such infractions. Please understand that I am not saying that souls, at whatever stage of development they might be at, are directly comparable to infants. Just a similar mindset when it comes to how their digressions are seen.”

So then, the souls living on earth now, if they choose to do terrible things in their lifetimes, they’re not punished in the afterlife?

“No Thomas, they are not punished. The concept of a retribution filled afterlife is another human creation, or folklore. Remember, it is all about learning, growing, fulfilling a soul-destiny that is set before us by the True Love. What point would there be in an eternal punishment for a soul that had been judged as evil? How would that ever make them a better soul? Rather, we have a system set in place for an extensive review of the life of the soul in question, to enlighten and educate. The process can be quite long depending upon the quantity of behaviors to be reviewed.”

So, you’re telling me that a guy like Hitler dies and just gets a peer review of his life? A bunch of academics standing around telling him how he could have made better choices? That’s just bullshit in my opinion, Omen.

“I am truly surprised by your reaction Thomas, I was not expecting this level of aggression in you. Please tell me what it is that makes you feel this kind of anger.”

It’s just unfair, that’s pretty much it. I mean a guy is responsible for the deaths of literally millions of people, and he’s going to get a good talking-to in the afterlife, that’s just awesome.

“Can you go a bit deeper Thomas? What is causing the vehement anger in you over this concept?”

Omen, most societies on this planet have some form of punishment for people who break laws, especially the ones that murder other people. I guess the thought of a guy like Hitler, who killed himself before he could be captured and punished; well it just makes me mad to think that nothing bad happens to him after that. It’s almost like he gets away with it since there’s no suffering for him, even though he caused massive suffering in others.

“I see, please allow me to delve further into this; if a convicted murderer eventually gets the death penalty, your ultimate punishment, does that make what happens here in the afterlife feel better for you?”

No! I mean, not really, I guess. I think some guys deserve both things – the death penalty here, and everlasting misery there too.

“By your thinking then, a person who murders others, is caught, tried and convicted, then served with the death penalty should also suffer in their afterlife as well? Yet, given that construct, in what way would that soul ever become more enlightened? How would it ever get closer to the Pure Love if they are sequestered in some dark place forever?”

I don’t know, Omen. I guess I haven’t really thought the whole thing through. It’s just that some people are actually evil, in my book anyway. Those kind of people who do heinous things and seem to have no remorse about it. I guess I’d just feel a hell of a lot better if I knew they were going to be drowning in molten lava for the rest of eternity.

“So, here we are back at retribution and revenge, Thomas. The ancient human construct of an ‘eye for an eye’ is where socially sanctioned revenge may have first begun. Much like what is called group-think, the notion was that if an entire social group believed that a murderer should themselves be murdered, to punish them, then it was a good idea. Quite simplistic, yet an effective justification for a revenge killing disguised as a legal punishment. But, when asked at some point after the execution has taken place, many people close to the original crime victim do not report ‘feeling better’ because of it. It seems that killing the killer brings very little comfort to the grieving.”

Ugh, this is hurting my brain Omen, I’m trying hard to get what you’re saying, but it’s hard for me. I understand that killing a killer doesn’t make a family ‘all better’ because of it, but at least one killer will never wander the streets again. I know you’re going to say that putting them in prison for the rest of their lives does the same thing, and that’s right, but… Damn, I do get it now.

We tell ourselves that we’ll all feel better by executing a really bad criminal, because we’re making sure they can’t ever do it again. But, there’s more to it than that, somehow we want them dead – locked away forever doesn’t seem like ‘enough punishment’ to most of us. We actually desire them to suffer the ultimate punishment, depriving them of life itself. Revenge… It’s just revenge, like you said.

“I am pleased you are beginning to see it differently Thomas, you are far to evolved of a soul to remain hindered by social conventions. I appreciate your willingness to wrestle with new concepts that you find difficult and challenging to your current thinking.”

Thanks, I’m still processing everything though, but I can see how it is probably a much higher and more evolved way of thinking you guys have there. I mean, I can admit that it’s a lot better idea to work with a soul to get them to see how their choices affected other people. To be able to ‘bring them around’ so to speak is great. You end up with a good soul who can go on to live better lives, and maybe even help humanity the next time around. That’s a pretty good goal you have there.

“We are all on a path emulate the True Love, Thomas. There is either stagnation, or there is growth, but there is no regression.”

So, there’s hope for everybody then, right? No matter how bad they were in one life, they can be educated and possibly have a better one next time?

“Yes, and it has been that way for a very long time. In fact, you might be interested to know something more about this process. Allow me to give you a glimpse of hopeful future. There are some amazing places where you will eventually live out a life in your future progression. One in particular that I am thinking of is a place where there is no ‘crime’ at all. It is an entire planet of beings that do not ever transgress. No crime, no murders, no abuses of any kind. They all live out their lives in a peaceful and purposeful environment. If you can, picture beings with no egos, no reason for conflict, and no motivation to ever harm another. They view every single other being as their exact equal, fully deserving of respect.  I imagine that you will truly be amazed by it someday, Thomas.”


Conversations with Omen VI

There’s something I really don’t understand about people’s earth lives. You’ve explained in general terms how things work with souls choosing the lives they’re going to live, and the lessons they need to learn. I think I understand most of that, but I watched a news program the other night about this kid, and now I’m confused again. The kid was born with a terrible genetic disorder that basically left him in terrible pain every day of his life. His parents had to take care of him his whole short life, and they too had to endure seeing their child in pain each day.

“Yes, this is truly a difficult concept for the earthbound to understand fully. Naturally every living human being seeks to have an easier and better life, and they do so throughout their entire lives. You cannot begin to understand why anyone would choose to live a life of pain, poverty, abuse or fear. On top of all of that, it being a child even further confounds you. Perhaps you can tell me what you do understand, and we can move through it together and examine the areas that cause you confusion?”

Like I said, you’ve told me how souls have some choice in the lives they’re going to live out. Not a total preview or anything, but a good idea of how the life is going to play out, and some of its significant events. That’s about where I start to have an issue with it though; like what conscientious soul would willingly pick a life that’s filled with pain? Why choose a life that not only has a lot of pain for them, but causes a different kind of pain for people who are part of their own family?

“Allow me to begin by saying that your term ‘causing’ pain to others is somewhat misguided and inaccurate. In a general way you are correct about a conscientious soul not choosing a life that would ‘cause’ pain to others. Where your understanding goes awry is in thinking that there is a moral component involved in pain. I will clarify that; of course physical pain is heavy burden to bear in a human life, especially lifelong pain. I also understand that the subject you spoke of, being a child, further adds to your misunderstanding. You were brought up in a society that believes that children’s lives should be trouble-free, but that belief is far from the reality of actual lives.

“Let me start at the beginning of a life, to illustrate not only the process, but also the thinking behind any life-choice. When a soul is ready to inhabit an earthbound life they are offered choices, typically based upon an agreement between that soul and their guide. Those decisions are based on both the soul’s last life, and what they believe needs to be accomplished by living out another life. Now it is my understanding, both from direct experience, and observation, that all lives have times of pain and misery in them. They simply differ in type, degree and frequency, but there are simply no pain-free lives.”

Sure, I get all of that about all people having pain in their lives, but some people have lives that look like they’re mostly pain-filled. Why would a soul choose a life like that if there’s another one they could have taken on with less agony?

“There are a number of reasons that a soul might choose a life that has a high level of difficulty in it, Thomas. It may surprise you to know that in many cases the soul that chose the life was under no obligation to live out another earthbound life either. They are often occupied by a guide-level soul who knows exactly what that existence will be like. That is a fact that is important for you to remember too, because not all lives are lived for the benefit of the occupying soul. A great number of lives that you might judge as difficult ones are lived out for the benefit of others.”

How the heck do others benefit from seeing a kid in pain every day? It just sounds cruel to me.

“I can assure you Thomas that it is far from cruel. Furthermore, there is a wealth that can be learned from attending to people who are in pain. As an example, the child you spoke of; the parents of that child have likely learned volumes about themselves and their child too. Can you imagine the pride you might feel as you witness your child’s bravery in the face of such pain? Can you imagine how your own sense of what pain is might change from such a situation? I surely cannot outline all of the potential lessons that might be learned from that one short life you cited, but just know that its affects are far and wide.

“You mentioned that the child you spoke of was on a news program; even that in itself can affect so many other lives, Thomas. There may well be others who saw the same program and were profoundly affected by the child’s story. Just understanding another’s pain is a difficult lesson for many. I know that all humans understand pain, but to truly listen to another describe their pain, to fully absorb their experience is quite difficult for most to do. People may listen and nod their heads, understanding only on the most superficial level what they have heard. But, to really ‘get’ what someone is going through when they have chronic pain is a more profound level of understanding.

“It has been my observation that a great number of people grow weary of hearing about another’s chronic pain. I believe the reason for this is because they have not experienced great physical or emotional pain in their own lives yet. It can be hard to empathize with someone when their experience differs greatly from your own. Yet, there are some remarkable souls who manage to do just that, and do it to great depths too. You may have seen in your own life certain people who seem to naturally have a deep sense of understanding and sympathy for others. Many of that type can even extend their genuine emotion to those that they do not know – complete strangers who may live on the other side of the globe from them. That is a beautiful rarity.”

So, this is a ‘ripples on the surface of the pond’ kind of thing? A person who suffers from some kind of malady will affect lots of other folks all around them? I understand that on one level, but on another level I still think it’s kind of cruel to have one person suffering so other people can potentially learn from them.

“I believe you are over simplifying the example, Thomas. Do you imagine that the child you saw is only suffering each minute of its life? Are you thinking that he or she never had any pleasurable times, or did not feel the love and comfort of their parents? Because, if you are imagining it that way, I think you are short-changing that person’s life. In fact, in the specific case you are speaking about, I can assure you that the child felt a profound bond with both of his parents, and even some of the people who helped care for him too.”

I didn’t think about like that, but I guess it’s possible that it’s a good thing – in a weird way. I’m getting lost in my own thoughts now because of what you said about understanding other people’s pain. I had a friend with fibromyalgia who was always in some level of pain. I remember her telling me all about it one day, and after that I’d ask her about how she was doing, but she usually just said ‘fine’. I felt like she didn’t want to talk about it anymore than she did, so I took the hint and stopped asking. I lost touch with her sometime after that, and then a few years later I heard that she’d committed suicide due to the pain. I really had no idea that she was suffering like that, and I feel bad now that I didn’t ask her more about it.

“Many people in chronic or constant pain begin to feel isolated from the other people around them. They look at others as ‘normal’ people, and set themselves apart from them. Your friend, by telling you about her condition was reaching out to you – probably seeing how you would react to her truth. If you seemed anxious to change the subject, or looked impatient, you may have sent her a signal that you were not available as an emotional resource to her. Again, it is one of the ways that some begin to feel as if they are truly alone in their personal struggle. Please understand, I am not saying this to make you reexamine your behavior with her, but to help you understand why she may not have ever brought it up again.”

But, if I had listened to her more carefully, and asked questions… if I’d have been genuinely interested in what was going on with her… she might not have…

“Thomas, you have no way of knowing such a thing. Our paths are far too complicated to make simple logic leaps such as that. You do not know if she had other close friends who were available to her, correct?”

No, I don’t know if she did or not. I hadn’t seen her in about three years since she left the office we both worked at.

“Her challenge may have been to learn to allow others into her emotional space – to be able to trust that some people genuinely wanted to support her. Perhaps she chose suicide because she was not able to do that? She may have felt isolated when there were actually others around her that wanted to be closer and help her. I do not want to speculate further, I believe that what is important is what you will eventually take away from examining your interaction with her. As you sort through how you feel about that past event, you may find that there is still something to learn from it. Something positive that you may have overlooked until now.”

In all honesty Omen, I don’t think I shorted her when we first talked about her fibromyalgia. I even went home and looked up more information about it, so I could talk to her again and actually know something. I don’t think I sent any wrong signals to her, at least none I remember now. When I asked her how she was doing, I made sure we were alone so no one overheard us. I thought that maybe she blew me off because I asked her at work. I just got a vibe from her that said ‘don’t ask me’. Still, I think about how I could have tried again later, just to be sure.

“Thomas, all lives are filled with endless possibilities – you could almost go mad rethinking all of your past decisions. I find it better to see what you chose, and appreciate the choice you made then. For better or worse, it was all part of a process that is ongoing still. Just by reexamining your choices you have the potential to better yourself, and make different decisions in the future. That is one of the true natures of our process as designed by the True Love.