There’s something I really don’t understand about people’s earth lives. You’ve explained in general terms how things work with souls choosing the lives they’re going to live, and the lessons they need to learn. I think I understand most of that, but I watched a news program the other night about this kid, and now I’m confused again. The kid was born with a terrible genetic disorder that basically left him in terrible pain every day of his life. His parents had to take care of him his whole short life, and they too had to endure seeing their child in pain each day.
“Yes, this is truly a difficult concept for the earthbound to understand fully. Naturally every living human being seeks to have an easier and better life, and they do so throughout their entire lives. You cannot begin to understand why anyone would choose to live a life of pain, poverty, abuse or fear. On top of all of that, it being a child even further confounds you. Perhaps you can tell me what you do understand, and we can move through it together and examine the areas that cause you confusion?”
Like I said, you’ve told me how souls have some choice in the lives they’re going to live out. Not a total preview or anything, but a good idea of how the life is going to play out, and some of its significant events. That’s about where I start to have an issue with it though; like what conscientious soul would willingly pick a life that’s filled with pain? Why choose a life that not only has a lot of pain for them, but causes a different kind of pain for people who are part of their own family?
“Allow me to begin by saying that your term ‘causing’ pain to others is somewhat misguided and inaccurate. In a general way you are correct about a conscientious soul not choosing a life that would ‘cause’ pain to others. Where your understanding goes awry is in thinking that there is a moral component involved in pain. I will clarify that; of course physical pain is heavy burden to bear in a human life, especially lifelong pain. I also understand that the subject you spoke of, being a child, further adds to your misunderstanding. You were brought up in a society that believes that children’s lives should be trouble-free, but that belief is far from the reality of actual lives.
“Let me start at the beginning of a life, to illustrate not only the process, but also the thinking behind any life-choice. When a soul is ready to inhabit an earthbound life they are offered choices, typically based upon an agreement between that soul and their guide. Those decisions are based on both the soul’s last life, and what they believe needs to be accomplished by living out another life. Now it is my understanding, both from direct experience, and observation, that all lives have times of pain and misery in them. They simply differ in type, degree and frequency, but there are simply no pain-free lives.”
Sure, I get all of that about all people having pain in their lives, but some people have lives that look like they’re mostly pain-filled. Why would a soul choose a life like that if there’s another one they could have taken on with less agony?
“There are a number of reasons that a soul might choose a life that has a high level of difficulty in it, Thomas. It may surprise you to know that in many cases the soul that chose the life was under no obligation to live out another earthbound life either. They are often occupied by a guide-level soul who knows exactly what that existence will be like. That is a fact that is important for you to remember too, because not all lives are lived for the benefit of the occupying soul. A great number of lives that you might judge as difficult ones are lived out for the benefit of others.”
How the heck do others benefit from seeing a kid in pain every day? It just sounds cruel to me.
“I can assure you Thomas that it is far from cruel. Furthermore, there is a wealth that can be learned from attending to people who are in pain. As an example, the child you spoke of; the parents of that child have likely learned volumes about themselves and their child too. Can you imagine the pride you might feel as you witness your child’s bravery in the face of such pain? Can you imagine how your own sense of what pain is might change from such a situation? I surely cannot outline all of the potential lessons that might be learned from that one short life you cited, but just know that its affects are far and wide.
“You mentioned that the child you spoke of was on a news program; even that in itself can affect so many other lives, Thomas. There may well be others who saw the same program and were profoundly affected by the child’s story. Just understanding another’s pain is a difficult lesson for many. I know that all humans understand pain, but to truly listen to another describe their pain, to fully absorb their experience is quite difficult for most to do. People may listen and nod their heads, understanding only on the most superficial level what they have heard. But, to really ‘get’ what someone is going through when they have chronic pain is a more profound level of understanding.
“It has been my observation that a great number of people grow weary of hearing about another’s chronic pain. I believe the reason for this is because they have not experienced great physical or emotional pain in their own lives yet. It can be hard to empathize with someone when their experience differs greatly from your own. Yet, there are some remarkable souls who manage to do just that, and do it to great depths too. You may have seen in your own life certain people who seem to naturally have a deep sense of understanding and sympathy for others. Many of that type can even extend their genuine emotion to those that they do not know – complete strangers who may live on the other side of the globe from them. That is a beautiful rarity.”
So, this is a ‘ripples on the surface of the pond’ kind of thing? A person who suffers from some kind of malady will affect lots of other folks all around them? I understand that on one level, but on another level I still think it’s kind of cruel to have one person suffering so other people can potentially learn from them.
“I believe you are over simplifying the example, Thomas. Do you imagine that the child you saw is only suffering each minute of its life? Are you thinking that he or she never had any pleasurable times, or did not feel the love and comfort of their parents? Because, if you are imagining it that way, I think you are short-changing that person’s life. In fact, in the specific case you are speaking about, I can assure you that the child felt a profound bond with both of his parents, and even some of the people who helped care for him too.”
I didn’t think about like that, but I guess it’s possible that it’s a good thing – in a weird way. I’m getting lost in my own thoughts now because of what you said about understanding other people’s pain. I had a friend with fibromyalgia who was always in some level of pain. I remember her telling me all about it one day, and after that I’d ask her about how she was doing, but she usually just said ‘fine’. I felt like she didn’t want to talk about it anymore than she did, so I took the hint and stopped asking. I lost touch with her sometime after that, and then a few years later I heard that she’d committed suicide due to the pain. I really had no idea that she was suffering like that, and I feel bad now that I didn’t ask her more about it.
“Many people in chronic or constant pain begin to feel isolated from the other people around them. They look at others as ‘normal’ people, and set themselves apart from them. Your friend, by telling you about her condition was reaching out to you – probably seeing how you would react to her truth. If you seemed anxious to change the subject, or looked impatient, you may have sent her a signal that you were not available as an emotional resource to her. Again, it is one of the ways that some begin to feel as if they are truly alone in their personal struggle. Please understand, I am not saying this to make you reexamine your behavior with her, but to help you understand why she may not have ever brought it up again.”
But, if I had listened to her more carefully, and asked questions… if I’d have been genuinely interested in what was going on with her… she might not have…
“Thomas, you have no way of knowing such a thing. Our paths are far too complicated to make simple logic leaps such as that. You do not know if she had other close friends who were available to her, correct?”
No, I don’t know if she did or not. I hadn’t seen her in about three years since she left the office we both worked at.
“Her challenge may have been to learn to allow others into her emotional space – to be able to trust that some people genuinely wanted to support her. Perhaps she chose suicide because she was not able to do that? She may have felt isolated when there were actually others around her that wanted to be closer and help her. I do not want to speculate further, I believe that what is important is what you will eventually take away from examining your interaction with her. As you sort through how you feel about that past event, you may find that there is still something to learn from it. Something positive that you may have overlooked until now.”
In all honesty Omen, I don’t think I shorted her when we first talked about her fibromyalgia. I even went home and looked up more information about it, so I could talk to her again and actually know something. I don’t think I sent any wrong signals to her, at least none I remember now. When I asked her how she was doing, I made sure we were alone so no one overheard us. I thought that maybe she blew me off because I asked her at work. I just got a vibe from her that said ‘don’t ask me’. Still, I think about how I could have tried again later, just to be sure.
“Thomas, all lives are filled with endless possibilities – you could almost go mad rethinking all of your past decisions. I find it better to see what you chose, and appreciate the choice you made then. For better or worse, it was all part of a process that is ongoing still. Just by reexamining your choices you have the potential to better yourself, and make different decisions in the future. That is one of the true natures of our process as designed by the True Love.