You’ve told me a lot about how souls and their guides work out what that soul needs to learn in their next life on earth. It actually makes a lot of sense to me, and I feel like sometimes I can even glimpse what some of my objectives are. But, is there any way I can know whether I’m succeeding or failing in whatever my pre-life plan was? How can I know if I’m fulfilling what I’ve set out to learn in this life right now?
“Is there something in particular that you feel that you are not accomplishing, Thomas?”
Well, it’s just a feeling I get randomly. I realize that I don’t absolutely know what my soul-plan here is, but I do get feelings sometimes that I can’t explain. Feelings like I’m stagnant, or not going in the right direction in my life. I’ll feel like I’m receding instead of proceeding. Yet, at other times I can get a feeling of pure bliss for no reason, like everything in my life is just perfect.
“Almost all earthbound souls do not remember what their life goals are that they agreed upon with their guides. Once born into an earthly body, you must use your own feelings and experience to navigate your life plan. The feelings that you are speaking of may indeed be accurate markers of your progress, or lack of it.”
Markers? I guess I’m not sure how you mean that.
“I apologize, it is a term we all use on this side, a simplification of a complex process. A soul can only know the most significant event points of their coming earthbound life, the bulk of that life is fluid and unknowable. Your soul-group peers are important to your earthbound life, so we set markers in an attempt at recognition. As an example, your life has already crossed paths with several of your peers you have known for a very long time. Souls you feel tremendous love for, and wish to be with in your current life. But, because you otherwise may not recognize them in human form, you set markers to tip your memory. Do you remember meeting your friend Renee? You first saw a photograph of her before you met her. Do you remember having a feeling as you first looked at her photo?”
Yeah, I do, there was something about the way she looked. Her eyes and her unusual hairstyle caught my attention. Not in a ‘romantic attraction’ kind of way, but something intrigued me about her. She even told me that she had the same kind of thoughts after seeing my picture. I just had this feeling that I’d meet her in-person someday and we’d become friends.
“Of course you did, because you had both set a marker to recognize each other. Those souls that we are closest to will often intermingle with our lives – when we truly want to share some part of that life with them, markers are set to trigger some intuition between us. These are quite subtle though, and many are missed completely, written off as just an odd feeling. More experienced souls learn to trust those feelings, and move in the direction that they guide one towards.”
That actually explains a lot for me, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had those feelings around people I randomly run into. But, back to my original question which I don’t think I explained very well; sometimes I get a feeling like I’ve failed someone. Like when I look back at past relationships and the people I was in them with, and I feel like I could have, or should have done a lot better.
“When you say that you feel as if you have failed them, do you mean that you think there was a goal to achieve and you did not do so?”
I don’t know if it’s a goal per se, but when I consider some personal relationships I’ve had – especially ones that ended badly – I feel like I failed at something. It feels like there was something I was supposed to learn with them, and that it didn’t happen.
“I see. Perhaps I can frame this in a different construct for you, to aid in your understanding of your feelings. The goals of a soul’s earthbound life are indeed important, and are often not met until well in to that life. In other words, there may be many attempts in one’s life to achieve a certain goal before they are successful. However, not learning a lesson that is part of a life-goal is not a failure Thomas. Even if you went through an entire life and did not accomplish your decided goal, that life is not seen as a failure. So much more goes on in a human life, myriad interactions with other lives that cannot be judged so easily. The complex weave of the interactions of different lives is akin to a four-dimensional puzzle, and difficult for the human mind to comprehend.”
I get that part, I guess, but the other people who may have been there for me to learn from – and I didn’t – don’t they lose out on something too? I mean, had I learned whatever I was supposed to, wouldn’t they also feel like they accomplished something as well? Maybe they had a similar goal to mine, and we both missed our chance to finish it?
“I think I see where this is coming from now, Thomas. I believe you are starting from a false premise and therefore your conclusions are misguided. The ending of an intimate relationship can be quite an emotional upheaval, and it is not uncommon for one or both parties to fall into a cycle of introspection. A reexamination of difficult interactions, choices and events that may have led to the relationship ending. Blaming yourself, or the other party, can be part of the emotional recovery one goes through. However, given enough time, one may eventually gain a more balanced perspective when reconsidering the relationship.”
“Whether a relationship lasts for days, or decades, there are usually many lessons learned about oneself. Sometimes it is the very thick emotional compounds created by the individuals in the relationship that make it difficult to see those lessons until quite some time later. You are a soul of uniquely deep emotions Thomas, and I have seen you go through long periods of deep introspection after a relationship had ended for you. You spend quite a bit of time attempting to find the exact cause of the relationship’s demise, yet I have never heard you conclude that you were simply not compatible.”
You mean like a no-fault auto accident? It wasn’t me, it wasn’t her, it was just that we weren’t compatible? To answer you, I would have to say no, I’ve never come to that particular conclusion before. I guess I have always thought that two people who are attracted to each other, and who get along well, should be able to have a long term relationship. I know it’s not automatic, and it takes a lot of work, but it still seems like it should work out if both parties are willing to keep trying.
“I know you really do feel that way, but perhaps you are missing something very important. Human beings are fantastically complex Thomas, each with a unique mind and life experience. The fact that two of those beings can occasionally come together and actually have a successful long term relationship is an amazing accomplishment. More often than not, they are two souls who have had other lifetimes together where they were also close in some relationship. Occasionally, though, there are some who come together by random circumstance and have a genuine relationship blossom from it. That being said, you must realize that there are innumerable relationships that do not work out in the manner you think of as a success – many times more often than the ones that work out well.”
So, you’re saying that even if I were a completely grounded and emotionally balanced individual, that I could still have failed relationships?
“Oh Thomas, yes, of course that is true because it is not entirely up to you. Simply look at the number of psychological professionals who have lived through the ending of their own romantic relationships. As wise as they may be, and as much as they may know about themselves and others, they still have relationships that do not work out – even when the relationship might be between two of those counseling professionals. One might think that two smart and experienced emotional counselors could forge a wonderful romance, but statistically their divorce rate is somewhat higher than non-professionals. It simply is not about what you know or how hard you try, people are far too complex for that to be so.”
“Thomas, if, when you look back at your previous relationships, you find you have mistreated someone – just by recognizing that, you have learned and grown. Yes, you may have the opportunity, on occasion, to make amends to someone, but that is somewhat rare. Most of the time you do not have such a chance, but seeing your part and acknowledging it – that is growth in itself. You did not fail that person, nor yourself, when your relationship ended. Every relationship you have in your life, romantic or platonic, are all vehicles of emotional growth.”
I’ve made some bad decisions, and I even betrayed a partner once, but I’ve never been the abusive type. I’ve said things that I wish I could take back, and I have done some things out of anger too. In the case where I was unfaithful, I was pretty young and prone to bad decision making back then. I think my self-worth was based on who was attracted to me, and who I could get into bed. That particular relationship ended so badly that I didn’t have a chance to apologize to her, and I still feel a lot of guilt about it some thirty years later.
“Guilt is a form of self-punishment Thomas, based upon your inner judgments of your own behavior. It is much like remorse, which is also based on your behavior, but less in judgment. Remorse is based more in reflecting on your interactions with others and seeing how you could have done things differently. Remorse has a component of wanting to be better, and seeing how you can actually do so. You cannot truly know how any given relationship fits into the fabric of what you need to learn. After all, recovering from heartbreak in a healthy way is a very valuable lesson for one to master, as is self-forgiveness.”
Well, guilt, or remorse aside; will I have to answer to her in the afterlife once we’re both passed on?
“Again, Thomas, you are thinking in simple dualities. Right and wrong, good or bad, rewards or punishments. As we have spoken of before, those do not exist on this side. You do not answer to any other soul for the things you have done in an earthbound life. You examine your own life, learn from it, and move on from there. Each time, each life, learning greater and deeper lessons which will bring you closer to the Pure Love.”
You know, Omen, this whole process reminds me of college, taking classes and exams in order to receive a degree. I’m not trying to diminish the soul journey, but it sure is a coincidence that they seem so much the same.
“There are many human social constructs that mimic the processes on this side, Thomas. It is not coincidence so much as it is souls, in human lives, creating social structures that feel familiar to them on some level. Many souls, especially ones who have had many earthbound lives, retain vague impressions from this side. Their experience and wisdom shines through even in their human form.”