My Take On –  Black Lives Matter

To my friends who still do not seem to understand it (and yes, I still consider you all friends).  

Please understand that the people marching and chanting that Black Lives Matter are not saying that other lives don’t. We intrinsically know that every human life matters, it’s why murder is a capital crime. It is not intended to diminish the value of any other life, or lives. It simply illustrates that the black community feels under siege by those in power. That there seem to be far too many graphic examples of law enforcement choosing to use deadly force, specifically on black people, disproportionate to other races.  

To those that have said things like ‘why is it just black lives that matter?’ or ‘why is there a gay pride day and not a heterosexual day?’ I can assure you that the reasoning behind those sayings, or events, are well earned. Young white men do not seem to be under special surveillance by the authorities, nor do they typically worry about being pulled over for just being white. Straight people do not have a history of criminalization and abuse just for being heterosexual. Groups rise up and demand their right to equality, the right to coexist when they have had enough of discrimination and abuse. A great number of us in privileged classes see that, and choose to embrace their cause and welcome them.

I realize that it makes many of you uncomfortable to be called a ‘privileged class’ when you do not see yourselves that way. It’s not your fault for the most part. But, you could choose to take a new look at the way things are, and possibly see how they were arranged to be so. One can choose to see things through the eyes of another, and perhaps gain a fresh perspective. I can see the unearned privilege I possess almost every day. No one follows me through a department store to make sure I’m going to pay for the items I am carrying. I can say hello to a cop and get a nod or even a smile. Simply because my skin is the approved color, so I am not under instant suspicion. I am not sure what my life would be like if those things were different for me.

Those of us who join our friends and fellow citizens in protesting the unfair and often brutal treatment of any group of people, we truly believe in total equality. We will chant that Black Lives Matter because some in authority do not seem to agree with us. We will point out, and shout out each instance of discrimination and abuse that we find. But please understand this; we may be protesting police brutality and abuses by law enforcement, but we are not protesting ‘the police’ or law enforcement in general. We may vehemently protest bad cops, but we also embrace the good ones. Furthermore we are in no way advocates of less, or no law enforcement. Every modern society has created and funded the police, there will always be a need for them in our foreseeable future. Understand that one can be against police abuses, yet in favor of the police themselves.

Law enforcement officers that are an integrated part of the communities they police are a welcome and appreciated group amongst us. A police force that is representative of the population it serves is a good and necessary body. Laws, and their fair enforcement, are an important component of any civilized and peaceful society. That, in itself, is what we are protesting for. The just and fair application of laws, the fair treatment of all citizens regardless of their race, religion, gender, sexual preference, age or political beliefs are what we want.
It’s armies that have and fight enemies, police have and protect communities. 

Conversations with Omen XX

Can the souls on the other side hear, or read my thoughts Omen?

“The souls on this side generally cannot read your mind Thomas, but I can if I choose to. Other guides could also do the same if they had need to, but they generally do not. Even when it is only concerning myself and one of my students, I do so very cautiously.”

Woah, so you can get inside my head and know what I’m thinking whenever you want to?

“I believe you are simplifying things a bit, but what you are stating is essentially correct in fact. Please understand that I do not do so capriciously, but only under circumstances where I feel it is necessary. Furthermore, we are joined at the mind right now as we communicate presently. You are choosing to respond to me verbally, and you are also choosing to believe that I am doing the same, yet I am not. As I had mentioned in an earlier conversation, I am pure spirit, manifesting in a form that you can see and understand. I do not have a corporeal body, nor any true way of making vocal sounds. I am directing my thoughts into your mind, and you are choosing to see my mouth move to match what I am saying to you.”

Seriously? You’re using telepathy to talk to me? Wow, I am having a hard time understanding how I am the one who is making me see your mouth move, or how I can think I hear you when you’re making no actual sounds.

“The mind is a wonderful thing Thomas, quite capable of creating a reality that you are more comfortable with, as opposed to what seems more abstract. Your mind is hearing me in a manner of speaking, but not your ears. To further compensate for the oddness, your brain also sees my mouth moving as well. I assure you that if you could calm yourself mentally, quiet your mind and accept that what I am telling you is factual, you might see things as they actually are.”

You know, I think I’m totally okay with what my mind is doing right now. Maybe after some more time passes, and if we keep doing this, I’ll give that a shot and see what happens. But, besides you, other souls who are there can’t really do that, right?

“Yes Thomas, that is correct. Are you troubled by the idea that your mind can be read?”

I wouldn’t say troubled, but I have always wondered about it. Well, that’s not completely true, I started wondering about it after my mom passed away. I remember thinking about it just a couple of days after she passed, I had this feeling that she would suddenly know everything.

“Know everything? How do you mean that?”

It’s like she’d be able to look at my whole life, like seeing a documentary on the TV or something. She’d be able to not only see things about me she never could have, but also know all of my thoughts I’d ever had in my life.

“Then I am happy to be able to calm you concerning this, now that you know her soul could not read your thoughts. Yet, if she chose to, she could actually attend your life timeline from your past to present.”

Wait, what? She can review my life? She’d be able to watch me like a movie or something?

“Thomas, I am suddenly concerned about your obvious distress over this. Was there a particular event that you would prefer be forever hidden from all others? I believe we discussed the lack of judgement that those of us in the afterlife practice. I do believe that if she chose to attend your timeline, it would have been out of love for you. In addition, she would be seeing much of her own past as she did so.”

I don’t know, I am sure there are a few things I either did, or thought, that I wouldn’t want to be known. I mean, I also realize now that I am mixing my feelings about my real mother with the soul that was her – does that make sense?

“Yes Thomas, I do understand you. Indeed, the human woman who was your mother was probably better off not knowing your every thought or deed. This applies to the majority of human relationship connections, for to know the private thoughts of every other individual would be a serious burden. I believe that if you think about it for some time you will agree that humans have all manner of random thoughts that are sometimes difficult to understand even by the one who had them. The soul that was your mother, on the other hand, has a completely different perspective concerning your life. She had life goals to achieve throughout her time on earth, and a review of your lives together is a tool we use to measure the success of those goals.”

So, if she was looking over my life it was probably overall a review of her own entire life here?

“Yes, exactly right Thomas. The soul that was your mother in this lifetime of yours has been with you for a very long time. Some of your life goals were intertwined, but most were not. In any case though, that soul would not be reviewing your life together or yours alone, for any reasons involving judgement. There is only love here Thomas, only progress and growth – not negativity or judgement.”

That’s pretty amazing, I wish things here were more like that. I also probably should figure out why I am worrying about someone knowing my thoughts, or knowing too much about my past. It’s not like I’m some former serial killer or anything, but I can admit that I haven’t exactly been a boy scout my entire life either.

“Thomas, you are like every other soul on this planet; none are perfect, all are learning, and most will be back again to continue their journey. I believe that you tend to forget that you have already established yourself as something unique already. Just the fact that I am here with you now is a testament to your uniqueness. I also hope that you know, or will know, that I am with you at all times, you can call upon me whenever you feel the need.”

Um, yeah, that both helps, and it doesn’t too. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I really love our time together, you’ve taught me so much about things I’ve never even thought about before. But, there’s also something about never truly being alone that is kind of odd. I know some people would absolutely love the idea of never being alone, and I’m not completely sure that I don’t as well… It’s that ‘never’ part that gets to me I guess. Never alone, ever. It’s probably a silly human thing that I’ll get over soon, but I’d be lying if I didn’t at least acknowledge it.

“I do appreciate your candor and honesty Thomas.”

I just thought of one more thing, another of my ‘odd questions’ for you; when we talk about souls, or spirits, are those the terms you use there?

“No Thomas, they are not. I am not sure that there is a name, or a label for what we are here, at least not one that we all use collectively. We know who and what we are, and I suppose that is quite enough for us. I will take this opportunity to tell you that in all of the conversations we have had, I have always used terms that you are familiar with. I do appreciate that you have a desire to know the real meaning, or the actual term for things. Yet, you must remember that you are human, an American, and you speak and think in English. Clearly it would not do our communication any good for me to use terms you are unfamiliar with. It would be as if you met someone from a different country that does not speak your language, you would not understand very much of what they were trying to communicate to you. The same applies here, I very much want you to understand everything I am telling you, so I use the words and terminologies that are most familiar to you.”

I guess I must have known that on some level since you already told me that your last life here was as a Roman senator. You didn’t even speak English at all I bet.

“No, I did not. In fact, I never heard the language in any of my earthbound lives.”

Wow, that puts things into perspective for me. Your last life was before the Roman people discovered the English. That’s wild. Hey, what about people praying? I mean, I know it’s a religious thing, but not exclusively so; people pray directly to God, or to dead family members. Do you all somehow ‘hear’ those prayers?

“Praying, as you know it, is somewhat different than normal human thinking. As I said, I am able to read your thoughts, yet only do so when I feel it is necessary. What you call praying is more like a direct and intentional communication to another being. It is most often a very concentrated and repeated plea for something specific. If you were to do that, and be thinking of me, then my answer is yes, I certainly would receive your communication. The same would hold true with your former family members, providing the soul was here, and not living a bound-life somewhere.”

That’s actually pretty cool, I’m not sure I’ve actually done that, but it’s good to know I could send a direct thought to someone who’s passed on. But, what about the religious folks who pray to God, or even Gods plural? Who gets that kind of communication?

“I am not sure I can answer that particular question with any specificity that would satisfy you. The Pure Love does indeed receive communications directed to it, no matter the name one attaches. God, or Gods, even natural forces and obscure things are prayed to every minute, and all are received.”

I know this is harder to answer, but I’m curious; does praying help? I mean, do people get prayers answered? If I pray to the Pure Love to help a sick friend, does that ever happen?

“That is not actually a difficult answer Thomas, and I bet that you already know the answer yourself. Praying to anyone or anything will not change the course of a soul’s journey. If a soul has a life where they eventually contract some fatal condition, it will not be altered by appeals to the afterlife.”

But, sometimes it does seem to work – at least to us mere mortals anyway. I have read stories about when an entire church of people prays for another member’s recovery, and it’s worked.

“Thomas, I think you can already surmise that it is simply coincidence in those cases. The Pure Love does not reach out and reverse a fate for a soul in order to please others. That soul’s shortened life may be key to many other soul journeys of those affected by that passing.”


Conversations with Omen XIX

Omen, I know you’ve said that you can’t reveal the future to me, and I’m not exactly thinking that, but I was wondering if you could tell me about the most amazing place you’ve ever lived a life at?

“I am not being intentionally difficult when I tell you that the term ‘amazing’ is very subjective to the user of the word. Yet, I have known you in this life long enough to be able to have a good idea of what it is that you might think of as amazing. Recalling the final life I lived on this earth as a starting point, I can think of a very different place that I am fairly sure you would be amazed by. That amazement would only be felt by you if you were transported there as your current self, so you could experience the contrast with this life.”

I get it, if I were born into some super amazing place, I wouldn’t know the difference because that would be all I had ever experienced, right?

“Exactly, if one has never experienced pain, one cannot truly imagine what the relief from pain feels like. Given that you understand what I am saying, I can tell you some things about a life I lived in a place that I am sure will astound you. Please understand that in the physical sense it was a vastly different place than earth, both in the life forms there, and the natural environment. Where things were similar to your life here were in the social or communal senses. The beings there live together in large groups much like cities you are so familiar with. They have social structures, governments and various different cultures depending where you were on the planet.”

Do they look anything like we do here?

“Only in the most general sense, but let us not get into that now. Those are not the kind of differences that I wish to focus upon. In fact, let me approach this from a different angle altogether. I would like you to try and imagine some things that I will describe, and perhaps you can give me your opinion on them?”

Sure, that sounds easy enough. Go ahead.

“Can you imagine living in a society where there are no crimes committed whatsoever? A society where all of the beings respect all others as their complete and utter equals?”

Seriously? Wow, um, I mean no, I guess I can’t really imagine that being real, not here at least. No one ever doing anything bad or criminally wrong? That’s pretty hard to imagine ever happening on earth, not in my lifetime anyway.

“I am perfectly serious Thomas. I am also taking much liberty with the term ‘crimes’ since it encompasses a set of rules made by a specific society. I am speaking in the general sense though, but I am not limiting this to capital crimes either. I am speaking of all crimes, both large and small ones. There is such a place, and compared to life here, I know it sounds quite fantastic. In this place I speak of you could misplace something very valuable, even in a public space, and whomever found it would exhaust themselves attempting to return it to you. It was as if the idea was universally accepted that if something was not yours it had to be returned to the person it belonged to. No one there would have ever considered keeping something that was not their own.”

No way, I have to admit that’s pretty amazing. I really can’t imagine that ever happening here, not in a thousand years. I mean, I know there’s good people here, ones who would return a wallet they found, or a wedding ring, but that’s still pretty rare. And, if even a good person finds a wad of cash, well I think that’s damn hard to resist the temptation to just keep it.

“I agree completely Thomas, as things were not all that different during the time I last spent in an earthbound life. That is why I thought of this specific example, a culture so very different than your own that it is hard for you to imagine it.”

Everyone there was like that? I mean, weren’t there some misfits there? What about someone who just wanted to go against everything for no good reason – like an anarchist here?

“No Thomas, there simply were not any deviants there, not even one. In the particular society I am speaking of, they all took great pride in being like everyone else was. That is not to say that they were not individuals, they were not clones, nor did they all look alike either. They did have their individuality when it came to personal aspects, but socially they had very solidly shared universal values. No crimes committed, no violence, no harassments, no belittling or insulting, no inequality in any way. They were all quite supportive of each other, and all their knowledge was shared freely and gladly. There were no social hierarchies to contend with and very few civic ones either. Of the governmental and legal structures that they did have, all were designed to minimize any possible discriminations or inequalities.”

That’s pretty amazing, I’m really having a hard time imagining living in a place like that. I guess, like you said, if I was born into it I simply wouldn’t know any different. Damn, I kind of wish we would evolve towards something like that here. I’d love to live in a society that was crime free, violence free, and super equal. Seriously, I’m just enjoying the thought of being able to go wherever I would want to go and never fearing crime or violence.

“There is actually more to tell about this place if you’d like to hear it.”

Yeah, absolutely, please go on.

“They also hold very strong beliefs about helping their fellow citizens, and all participate in many different social enhancement programs. Furthermore all of that is done voluntarily simple in order to make their society function at the highest level.”

That’s really cool, all the people volunteering to help others – just because it’s the right thing to do. That’s just awesome, and it’s like the cherry on top of the sundae. But, I’m still back at the ‘no crime’ part in my mind. I can’t stop imagining how that would feel if it were true here. I mean it would reduce the fear level in any given city down to some level we’ve never known. Having zero fears about crime or violence, it just makes me so happy to fantasize about it. Please be absolutely serious with me now Omen, no one there ever goes nuts and kills other people?

“No Thomas, at least not for such a period of time than those alive there would remember. You have to realize something, they are brought up from their childhood hearing stories and folklore that involve no violence at all. No stories such as the ones here that contain violence justified by the outcome of the tale. No morality plays that feature it, no legends that embellish it in any way. They hear stories of good people doing good things for others, or living good lives just for the sake of happiness.”

Okay, even if I can absorb all of that, I still have to wonder about how it is that no one goes crazy there. Don’t they have mental illness? What about depression or even impulsive teenagers who do something dangerous and end up killing some people?

“To answer in specific would be time consuming, so rather let me say that I did not mean to indicate that there are not accidental deaths there, because there certainly are some. As for mental illness it is a bit more complicated and may not actually be comparable. What you refer to is a human condition that is somewhat unique to life here. A simple answer would be ‘no’ they do not have what you think of as mental illness there.”

That might be as amazing in itself as everything you’ve told me about that place so far. You were right about the choice of the place you have told me about, it really is pretty unbelievable. I hope I get to choose a life there someday, and I also hope that some tiny part of my life I’m living here stays in my memory so I can appreciate it all the more.

“That is quite a lot to hope for Thomas, but I do appreciate the wish you have.”

Do you think we will ever get to be like that here?

“I can not speculate on such things Thomas, so very much would have to change to make that a possibility on earth.

Conversations with Omen XVIII

I was wondering, back when you lived your earthbound lives, did people still revere the rich and famous?

“An interesting question Thomas, I hope you will tolerate a qualified answer from me. In my first earthbound life I inhabited an agrarian village on the banks of the Nile River. Although we were all aware of the powers of the families in the High House, we had almost no contact with them whatsoever. I am fairly sure that had we seen them, or knew more about them, we would have held them in high esteem. In my life as a senator of the Roman people, I suppose I was one of those that were revered by some of the people. Although I did not seek that out specifically, I can recall enjoying the adoration.”

Well sure, who wouldn’t love being admired for almost no other reason than being wealthy and powerful?

“Indeed, but that is not to say that I did not have the occasional conflicting feelings about it. There actually were times that I shunned the attention that my colleagues so dearly relished. I remember in one such case I asked a fellow senator if it wasn’t the adoration and gifts that he was interested in, and not the governing of the people. He was suitably confounded by my query, and roundly ignored me afterwards.”

Okay, so you did have some moments of consciousness about your own status then. I’m not completely sure what’s got me thinking about this, but I am kind of bothered by people’s status being elevated simply because they have lots of money. Even in this country, where we’re all supposed to be born equal, we still worship the rich and famous like they are the monarchy. It’s ironic that my country was founded on the premise that there are no monarchs, and people are all the same, but we don’t actually act that way.

“My thinking is that this social condition goes very far back in your human history, Thomas. Possibly back to when people lived very primitive lives, in very small social groups. It seems possible that the individual who collected the greatest amount of useful things, or was able to get the most food, would have been revered amongst their peers. It could be that what your society currently does is related to something that far back in your history. It just evolved to become about less practical items, instead of the most food it was the most gold, or the largest property. Of course, your history is replete with stories of megalomaniacs and tyrants who demanded respect and admiration from the peoples they ruled. By the time western monarchies came about, that admiration was almost a given for them.”

I can see that being the case back in times where having more of anything was probably a good thing, but now, in modern times? It just seems like people would have eventually dropped the notion that other people are somehow better because of wealth or fame. I just wish more people would see that those who really deserve our respect are often the ones we overlook. It shouldn’t matter if you’re rich or not.

“If you are speaking of individuals, and not groups, then there indeed might be much to be admired there, both in the rich, the poor, and everything in between. It is when one has preconceived notions about a person, or group, based on a status, or classification. Your complaint is about the wealthy and famous being revered for nothing more than that status in itself, but does the reverse not occur as well? The poor and the underprivileged are also victims of generalizations, most often very negative ones. Those generalizations are applied to them with just as little factual reasoning as the adoration of the rich.”

Do we do this simply because it’s too hard to look at individuals on a case by case basis? Is it just social laziness that makes us generalize?

“Speaking of people by generalized grouping is, more often than not, a social convention used to put across an idea that the speaker wants you to share. Whether it is ‘the rich are fabulous’ or ‘the poor are lazy’ they are both sweeping generalizations that would immediately fall apart upon individual inspection. It is my belief that as soon as one hears a speaker using generalizations such as those, one should be instantly cautious about what ideas are being put forth.”

But, aren’t some generalizations essentially true? Like the old saying about stereotypes; that they became what they are for some reason.

“We can easily concoct generalizations about many things that would be essentially true Thomas. ‘Human beings need air, food and water to live’ would be essentially correct, yet of what value is it? That in itself is a good question to bear in mind when you hear generalizations being spoken like they are facts. What value is it bringing to the conversation? I believe it safe to say that it most likely brings value to the speaker’s argument, but as a false support system.”

I think you’re probably right about that Omen, I don’t think that a genuinely intelligent speaker would use many generalizations. I think they’d use specifics and actual data to support the point they want to make. But, back to what I was originally asking about, and keeping in mind you can’t reveal the future to me; will we ever get past worshipping the rich and famous?

Thomas, all of the cultures in your world are evolving, each in myriad different ways. Your own culture, or more specifically the economic system of that culture, is based in capitalism. That in itself is a wealth-centric economic system that disproportionately benefits a small number of people at the highest income and wealth level. That is not to say that others do not benefit as well, just not as much as those who own the means of production and sales. In other cultures in your world they have varying economic systems that are either close to what you have, or not terribly different. The few countries that do have greatly differing systems have traditionally been the enemies of your country.”

Yeah, why is that anyway? Why have the socialists and communists always been the enemy of capitalist nations?

“An excellent question Thomas, I do hope you will research an answer for it. I do believe that a vast majority of the citizens of capitalist nations have not done so. (Yes, I realize that was a generalization, but it is one I am willing to stand behind.) I do think that if you look into the answer for your question you will be a bit surprised at the possible answers to it.”

Conversations with Omen XVII

I don’t remember as much about the afterlife as you think I do, mostly it’s just some feelings and sounds, I guess. What do people look like there? Will I see my parents just like they were the last time I saw them here, or some younger idealized version of them?

“Thomas, perhaps I truly have been thinking that you remember more than you actually do, I apologize for that. Although I do want to assure you that remembering feelings and sounds from the afterlife is extraordinary in itself. It also comprises a great deal of what the afterlife is to us, I am afraid it is somewhat less visual than you are imagining. You are applying uniquely human qualities to the souls of the afterlife, and that simply isn’t accurate. We are souls here, pure energy created by the Pure Love, and we can be whatever we choose to be here.”

Oh, that’s kind of cool though.

“I hope it will not disappoint you too much to know that most souls do not choose to manifest as anything more than their natural state – which to you would resemble a small sphere of light. Yet, as I said, we can choose to manifest ourselves in almost any manner we choose to. This form that I am appearing in now is by my own choice, and I did so to make you the most comfortable in my presence.”

I guess I thought that this is how you always look, whether you’re here or there. You kind of look like a Roman senator from the Julius Caesar days.

“You are essentially correct about that Thomas. I was indeed a senator of Rome, but not during the reign of Julius Caesar – many years before he was born. I chose this image because I thought it the most relatable one for you to accept. I also lived a very satisfying earthbound life in this form, and it was my last life lived here as well. I do hope you do not feel deceived by this information.”

No, not at all, it’s pretty fascinating actually. Wow, you were a senator, that’s pretty cool in my book, I bet you did some great things. Man, that just triggered a bunch of new questions in my mind, but I don’t want to get too far away from the first topic just yet. So, if you chose this form to appear to me in, you’re kind of saying that you could have chosen almost anything else?

“Essentially, yes. Although I would always choose a form that would be acceptable to you, and not something so foreign that you would be frightened by me. I certainly would not choose to manifest as a life form you have never seen before, that wouldn’t make sense. Just as if I were to need to manifest to a different being of another world, I would choose to appear as one of their familiars.”

So, when on Mars, do as the Martians do, huh?

“That is an amusing corollary Thomas, but you are basically correct in your thinking. But, in the afterlife you and I might just choose to be our natural soul-selves. We would have no need to appear as anything else. The same would be true if you were in contact with the souls that were your parents in your life here, you would still recognize them easily because you have known them for so long. Their energy and their love is very familiar to you, as yours is to them too.”

That makes sense, I guess. But, it also sounds like you’re saying that we don’t really ‘see’ each other there. It seems like you’re describing the souls as feeling each other more than seeing.

“That is the uniquely human quality I mentioned earlier. You are imagining eyes where there are none, yet that does not strictly mean we do not see. This is difficult, but let me use an example if I may. In your mind you can picture almost anything that you have ever seen, and also many things that you have not. Yet, you are not actually seeing those images with your eyes are you? Humans use the term ‘mind’s eye’ sometimes to describe seeing images in their imaginations; that is somewhat similar to how it works here. I hope that helps you understand this a bit more.”

Yeah, actually that helps a lot. I guess because I am a human right now I tend to think of everything in those terms. All I know is that I really was picturing that I would visually see my loved ones when I got to the afterlife. There was a lot about that particular idea that didn’t really make sense though, so your explanation actually cleared up the questions. I don’t ‘see’ my mom as she was here, I’ll feel her energy and familiar presence when we meet again.

“Yes, very good Thomas, I am beginning to think that you remember a bit more about the afterlife than you led me to believe.”

Just to clarify something; once I’m there, my mother isn’t really my mother, is she? I mean, it’s a soul I know, or will remember that I know once I’m there. But, it’s not like I’m going to feel just like I felt about her here, back when she was alive, right?

“You are correct in your thinking Thomas, but keep something in mind – something you have not thought of yet; the feelings you will experience in the reunion with that soul will likely outstrip by far the mother image you remember. Reuniting with a soul that you have known for such a very long time is a fantastic experience, lifetimes replay between you in mere moments. All of the contacts and various relationships you have had come back in an instant, and the associated emotions are deep and satisfying.”

You’re saying that we instantly recall all of the lives that we’ve had together, no matter what our relationship was? That’s pretty interesting actually, especially if we’ve been a lot of different things to each other. I mean, I’m guess that we could have been anything and everything with all of the souls we’ve been with, right? Mother – son, husband – wife, cousins, or anything and everything else.

“Yes Thomas, that too is correct. Soul lives are lived at different times and not always in a linear timeline. You could have been the mother to that same soul in your last lives here, or even passing acquaintances that only briefly knew each other. The amazing part is being able to see all of those lives and how they intersected each time. It is quite amazing.”

Conversations with Omen XVI

“You look a bit shaken Thomas, is everything alright?”

It was just a tough day at my work, and then on the way home some jerk was harassing me on the freeway. I guess he thought everyone was going too slow, but it wasn’t like I could do anything about it. He was behind me, and then as soon as there was a small space, he accelerated past my car and gave me the finger. I still don’t know what the hell he thought I did.

“His rude gesture offended and irritated you?”

Well sure, he was looking like a crazy man as he passed and flipped me off. It was only directed at me, there wasn’t anyone else he was looking at. I almost yelled something back at him, but I decided that in today’s world it was too risky. I mean, what if he turned out to really be crazy? He could have turned violent on me if I made him any madder than he already was.

“Your frustration, in the face of powerlessness is obvious, but I do not think you have given yourself the time to see it differently. Allowing yourself time to deconstruct the event can be very helpful in reducing your frustration, thereby lowering stress and remaining healthier both physically and mentally.”

I think I have it in pretty good perspective Omen; I was minding my own business driving in bad traffic, and a total ass-hat went crazy on me. Boom, done.

“I am not sure if that is more of your humor Thomas, or if you truly are thinking that way. Either way, allow me to explain what I meant; a method of deconstructing almost any poor interaction and then being able to see it in a new light, so to speak. Your encounter with that other driver was very upsetting to you, it raised your physical reactions in much the same way a physically dangerous encounter would. Your emotions suddenly rage, your pulse rises, and you become angry and frustrated in just seconds. For some people in similar situations, they can be moved to actual physical violence and retaliation. Now, picture in your mind a different set of reactions that are not based in ego, but are thoughtful and present. The angry driver does just what you said he did, but in this new way of thinking you step back from instant reaction and acknowledge that fact that he is already a very angry man.”

“Furthermore, by the simple acknowledgement that he is an angry person, you can leave that with him – it is his anger, not yours. As you said, you believe you did nothing to offend him except be the unfortunate one in the car directly in front of his. So, you are not culpable for any transgressions against that man, you have nothing to feel apologetic for. You are literally blame-free in this situation, yet that man is still angry enough to make a rude gesture at you. Now perhaps you can see that all of the negativity was brought by that man, and did not exist in your world until he behaved as he did. Yet, that brief moment of his rude behavior was able to trigger an equally angry inner reaction in you.”

Yeah, okay, I can see that.

“Deconstruction involves looking at why that triggered all of the emotions that you suddenly felt, and what those emotions are based upon. In this case, as I said earlier, you most likely felt powerless to really do anything about his behavior, or even inform him that he offended you. That leads to frustration, the emotion most related to not being able to accomplish something we very much want to do. Yet, let us look a bit deeper if we can, go down a level to see what causes you to feel like you want to do something about the situation. That most often springs from the ego Thomas.”

The ego, or my ego I guess… how does that fit in to this?

“The human ego is a complex mental component that I will admit I do not fully understand, but nevertheless I do know that it is able to be tamed. It is the ego that makes you feel that you need to react in situations such as that one. Your ego tells you that you have been trespassed against, that you have been insulted, and that you are required to react to it. It is your ego that tells you that the specific hand gesture he made to you was a very insulting one that was intended to hurt you; and it is the ego that makes you feel hurt.”

Well, it was insulting wasn’t it? It’s not like there’s a bunch of other interpretations for the middle finger gesture. As far as I know there isn’t any society on earth that doesn’t know what it generally means. He wasn’t saying ‘hello’ to me, he wasn’t saying that I’m number one in his book.

“I hope you are not being intentionally obtuse Thomas, I do believe that you know what I am trying to get at here. You have the choice to quiet your ego, or better yet, to hear it and choose to set that message aside for one that is more reasoned. You can choose to see the situation as one where a very angry man passed you in an aggressive manner and made a rude gesture; and nothing more. He was the angry one, he was the frustrated one, he was the one that was almost out of control – not you. If I were walking about your town trying to sell poison would you be inclined to buy some from me? I think not, nor would anyone else for that matter. If you picture that man in a similar light, I think you can begin to understand what I am saying.”

Okay, you’re saying that he’s the one selling poison, in this case a metaphor for his anger, and that I bought some. Am I close?

“Yes, very good Thomas, that is almost exactly right. That man is like a storm that you can choose to avoid, and not get caught in. When you see that all of the anger and aggression belongs with him, you can choose to not accept any of it. You can leave those emotions with him, and then congratulate yourself on remaining in your own space and retaining your own calm mental state.”

That sounds a lot easier said than done Omen, and I’m not sure I’m quite that evolved yet. But, I do see your point now; if I really were able to do that then I can picture the whole thing ending up differently. I probably wouldn’t be mad or frustrated at all; I’d see it as his BS that has nothing to do with me. I mean, that sounds great but how do I train my brain to slow my ego’s almost instant-response to situations like that?

“Ah, I do not recall saying that this is an easy process Thomas. In fact it is quite difficult at first to even acknowledge that you are in a situation that calls for this new way of thinking. You may want to begin with just the acknowledgement piece of it. Noticing the rise in emotions and the suddenly changing physical responses in your body are both good markers to pay attention to. Think of those like alarms going off that require you to do something in order to quiet them. If you can immediately become aware of those responses you can then begin to slow yourself down, and you might find that you have time to choose a different response.”

In other words, I can train myself to notice the emotions kicking up, and then maybe breathe slowly to calm myself and choose not to react. I can reject what my ego is telling me to do and then choose to do what my higher-self knows is a better response.

“Yes, exactly right Thomas. I believe you will find that there is a hidden reward in this new thinking as well. You will come to realize that you are calmer, and that you are not a slave to your ego anymore. You will feel as if a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders when you no longer take on someone else’s current emotional situation.”

So, what’s the point of having an ego then? I mean it sure seems like it gets us in trouble by causing us to make rash decisions. Why do we have an ego at all?

“That is a very difficult question Thomas, and I can only speculate. The ego is an important part of the human psychological makeup, especially when it is in-check, so to speak. It becomes less of a benefit when one allows it to control them. Ego can serve beneficial purposes in a person’s life Thomas; it helps provide your sense of self-worth, along with the soul. When ego and soul work in harmony there is a balance within you. You find that your decision making is based less on emotional response and more on facts and reality.”

How does the soul balance out the ego?

“The ego will tell you that you are a very important person, the soul will tell you that you are but one of a billion souls living on the planet. That is a balance because they are both right; you are important, but so is everyone else. You are one of billions, yet you are unique and deserving of respect. That is the balance, self-worth that is in healthy perspective.”

Conversations with Omen XV

If we’re all part of the Pure Love, and we’re on our journeys to become more enlightened souls here, how come we have so many imperfections?

“Imperfections? I am not completely clear on how you mean it when you use that word. Do you mean that in general humans have various issues to work through?”

Okay, I suppose using the term ‘imperfections’ implies that I think somehow we could be perfect, but that’s not what I really mean. I guess I mean that we all have struggles we go through, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional. I know we spoke once about the lives of the disabled, but this time I was thinking about something more personal or internal. Even something like a broken heart can be super hard for people to get over, and the emotional pain is very real.

“I think I see now what you are asking me, and there is no simple answer Thomas. I think you already know that in the general sense every earthbound soul goes through innumerable emotional challenges in their lives. I suspect that you are indirectly asking me about your own personal emotional challenges.”

I don’t know, maybe I am – maybe that’s my process, to indirectly inquire about the lives of others so I can garner insight into my own crap. Either way, I guess I just wonder about the major emotional crisis we go through here, even something like the feeling of loneliness can be a pretty crippling state of mind for some.

“Indeed, loneliness is often one of the most disturbing emotions that humans will feel in their lives. There are, of course, various kinds of loneliness that people experience, but all involve a disconnected feeling from something, or someone. As souls in the afterlife, one is never disconnected from anything – we are in constant contact with all others and the Pure Love.”

Really, there’s no privacy there?

“Thomas, the idea of privacy is an earthbound concept and has no useful meaning here. Where you are privacy indicates that there are things, behaviors, or thoughts that one wishes to not have exposed to others. That is a foreign concept here, we don’t need anything like that when we all are in the light of the Pure Love.”

Well, let me ask this then; can you think of something and keep it to yourself? Is that possible, or even allowed?

“Yes, that is possible, and it is not forbidden in any way. My interactions with you are kept mostly to myself, and only shared with a few others. But, that is not because there is something shameful or diminishing about this, it was at the request of my own guide. I believe that the decision was based upon the unusualness of our situation, and not because it needs to remain a secret.”

Man, this communal communication and connectedness you describe is one of the hardest things for me to absorb in a meaningful way. It’s so completely different from the way the human mind works, and how we socialize here. I mean, generally speaking we like our privacy, and having our thoughts remain our own. I can’t even imagine what chaos I’d cause if the people around me suddenly knew every thought I was thinking. I have some pretty bizarre and random thoughts sometimes.

“What you are describing is a phenomenon of the human mind, and it does not apply here. If your memory was a bit more clear about what things are like in the afterlife, you would know that we do not experience random thoughts, nor bizarre ones either.”

Okay, this is interesting to me, and again, kind of hard to absorb quickly. One reason is that I have always associated my creativity with random thoughts. My writing ideas, my humor and even my creative cooking ideas have almost all come from random thoughts. It’s hard to picture not having those. You lived some earthbound lives, can you remember having sudden random thoughts and ideas?

“Yes, of course I do, but from the perspective of where I am now, it does not seem all too unusual that we do not have that. Truthfully, Thomas, I do not believe that the situations you have described are quite as random as you imagine they are. Even other humans have described the very same things as ‘sudden inspirations’ or ‘flashes of brilliance’ at various times. It is you that has decided that they are random-thoughts, as a way of explaining their existence, but that does not make it a fact.”

Well, that’s interesting too. Inspirations sound nicer to me actually, and thinking that they might not be totally random is kind of cool. I suspected, on some level, that calling them random thoughts was shorting myself on credit. I don’t say that like I’m needing pats on the back, but just entertaining how I might really be creating some good stuff with my own brain.

“It might be that you have an inner belief that all creativity comes through a process somewhat like solving a mathematics problem. Therefore if you suddenly have an idea about something new, you choose to attribute it to a random thought.”

Yeah, I can see that now. I’m pretty sure you hit the nail on the head there Omen, that’s exactly what I do. I guess I’d hear stories about people like Shakespeare, or Hemmingway, or even famous musicians, and I’d get this mental picture of them slaving over an idea for months. I could picture them agonizing over details and structures, and being perfectionists about the whole process. All in my own imagination, and not based on anything I’d read about them. It was just my idea about how the super-creative do their work.

“That is an excellent realization Thomas; I do think you would be surprised about how much of what you accept as fact is merely comfortable fabrications you have created in lieu of actual fact. As I say that, I also understand that it is possibly not the best mental position to be in to constantly question the validity of your own beliefs. Perhaps it is best just to have glimpsed at how this process works, and scrutinize on a case by case basis.”

Now I’m wondering about what other preconceived notions I have that are clouding my understanding of how things really are. I mean it’s not like I think I should see everything in its purest form, but I hope I’m not kidding myself about a lot of crap either. How would I really know, Omen?

“A very difficult question to answer, and you already know that I am cautious about answering queries you pose if my answer might alter your future choices. I can say this much, a well know adage in your society used to be ‘question everything’ – it is still sound advice.”

Conversations with Omen XIV

Recently we were talking about when I was born, or as you put it, when I entered this earthbound life. You’d said that for some souls, it’s hard to leave the afterlife because of the loss of the feeling of being there. The emotional feeling is so complete and warm and so-on; am I getting it right?

“You are paraphrasing more than one conversation Thomas, but you are essentially correct. It is sometimes difficult for some souls to leave that very complete feeling for an earthbound life. But, keep in mind that very very few have any kind of recall of that experience once they are joined with the physical body. Is there something new on your mind you wish to discuss?”

Maybe… I was doing some thinking last night about my past, and I came up with an odd theory that might explain some of my behavior when I was younger. I’m not sure what made me come up with this, but once I got the notion of it I just felt like maybe it was true.

“Please go on Thomas, you have piqued my curiosity.”

Well, as I’m sure you know since you’ve been around throughout my life, when I was a younger man I was somewhat of a womanizer, as they say. I don’t mean that in some kind of self-judgmental way, I’m just trying to get a starting point for this. I dated a lot of women over the years, and I had a lot of different relationships, both long and short ones. But, in all fairness I was unmarried and I was looking for a committed long-term partnership.

“There is no need to justify your behavior to me Thomas, but I do worry that you sound as if you have unresolved issues with your own past.”

No, not really. I mean I do think about my past a lot, but not because I’m guilty-feeling about it, I just reexamine my past behavior to understand my motivations. Maybe it’s just part of my own learning process, or maybe it’s simply me trying to reframe my perspective on things. I suppose that almost everyone has some unresolved issues from their past though, it’s just a matter of amount or degree. I don’t think I have any more regrets than the average guy my age has.

“I did not mean to derail your thought process by having you consider your own reasoning, I apologize for that. Please continue with your original purpose.”

Well, I was thinking about the motivations I had back then, when I was dating so much – so many different people, one after another. Serial dating as one of my friends called it, although I blew that off back then. Now I see what they meant, but it’s still debatable if that’s what I was doing.

“Can you think back to that time in your life for a moment and recall what you thought your motivations was at that time?”

I guess I’d have said I was just looking for a good relationship, a romantic relationship. Maybe I’d have even said marriage back then too, I don’t know. I do remember that each time I was attracted to someone, I’d think that I had found something so powerful and important. Something about this new person was going to change my life in some great way, I just knew it.

“Each new potential relationship was full chock-full of possibilities in your mind?”

Yeah, I always had such high hopes, such big ideas about how things were going to be. It never seemed like a fantasy either, my feelings were so real and intense. I’m pretty sure I even scared a few women away with my ‘tell them everything – show them everything’ way of expressing myself. It’s just that so much was bursting out inside me, I thought it was the right thing to do to let it all out. I think I saw it as being more vulnerable and open. I’m not sure that’s how they saw it though. I just wanted to be loved and accepted so badly that I’d over do it.

“I am curious about how you developed such strong feelings in such a short time?”

I’ve thought about that too, many times, but I don’t really have a good answer so far. It was probably a combination of my own imagination and a ton of wishful thinking too. I think the psychological types call it projection – everything I wanted I imagined that new person had for me. That, combined with my own insecurities made for a pretty intense jumble of emotions. The weird thing was that it all felt completely normal to me, I never questioned my thinking as it was happening.

“When those relationships ended, were you able to reflect on them and gain new perspective?”

Probably not right at first, but after some period of time passed I could. Actually it usually took years before I could really look at some of them with any kind of objectivity. Otherwise I’d just kid myself into thinking that we just weren’t right for each other, that it was nobody’s fault. With time as a buffer I could come up with better answers. I could sometimes see where I’d been needy, or codependent with someone, or occasionally the opposite where I was almost totally withdrawn. Sometimes after an especially emotional breakup I’d think I was fine, and start into a new relationship – but I was still hurting inside so I wasn’t really emotionally available. I was just looking for a bandage to stop the emotional bleeding.

“I am impressed Thomas, you have truly done a great deal of thinking about your past. Your insight is fairly clear and balanced, which is uncommon for many people no matter what age they are. I hope you will consider this next question just as thoughtfully; why do you think you were looking for such complete acceptance in the eyes of others?”

Well, I definitely wanted to be loved, and to find someone who could, or would, accept me just as I was. I mean being accepted by someone, really and truly accepted as you are is a pretty big deal. There were even a few times where I thought I’d found that, but not really. New lovers really want to please each other at the beginning of relationships, and I would mistake that for acceptance and love. After some period of time went by, there would suddenly be criticisms and judgments bubbling up to the surface. Arguments, fights and insults weren’t far behind.

“That must have been very hurtful when it happened. How did you deal with that kind of personal diminishment?”

I’m a pretty tolerant guy, so at first I’d just try to accommodate whatever the issue was about – change my behavior, watch my language, clean up more, etcetera… But, that wasn’t really what it was all about, so the relationship would usually fall apart not long afterward. I never found a way to not be the actual me I guess. As for dealing with it, as I said a minute ago, I’d just tell myself we weren’t ‘meant to be’, cry in my beer for a few days, and slowly move on.

“You do not believe that those criticisms left you with any long term hurt, scars still unresolved?”

You know, I’m sure it did sometimes, and I don’t know for how long either. I’d just hang out with my friends, throw myself into whatever work I was doing at the time, and get over it. After a week or two I was ready to see what the possibilities out there were. I was back on the market and looking for a real relationship again. I don’t think any of it still bother me, not anymore.

“May I ask why you refer to it as a ‘real relationship’? Did you look at the ones that did not work out as not-real?”

Well, there always seemed to be some level of deception in a lot of my relationships, so I guess I just pictured that the best relationships were more real, more authentic. No masks, no games or hidden agendas – just two people open to each other. Basically, no bullshitting each other, always being honest and genuine.

“Were you guilty of deceptions yourself?”

I mean everybody probably is, Omen, I’m not special in that respect. I’m sure I probably over-sold myself a little on occasions, but it wasn’t like I was outright lying to people. Everyone I know has probably done all of the same things I have, it’s just part of the dating game.

“The dating game… that seems to indicate that you did not see your quest for a true relationship as something truly serious. Did it seem like a game to you?”

No, well, I mean not in the actual sense of a fun-game. It’s just an expression we use about how people act when they’re dating each other, when they’re sizing each other up. We all put on our best faces, so to speak, and we’re on our very best behavior. No one wants to scare someone away by being a dork, or being rude or whatever. You want to make a great impression so you have a shot at another date.

“But, if you are both wearing your facades, then it seems true to me that you both would be falling into a relationship based upon unreality; thereby almost certainly dooming the relationship from the beginning. I say that because given enough time you will eventually ‘discover’ the true person beneath the veneers. It seems it makes more sense to be your true unfiltered self for each other and see what genuine attractions develop.”

Well, yeah, that’s probably the best way to go about it, but you’d be very single for a long time before you finally met the one person who liked what they saw.

“So, besides looking for a true relationship, you were also afraid of being single for long periods of time?”

I wouldn’t say afraid, more like I just didn’t want that. I liked being with someone, I enjoyed the companionship, the learning about each other, and the sex of course. The sex was always so good at first, but even that would fall apart eventually. No matter what I did, or how good I did it, there would always be that fade-out of the sex life.

“Do you feel like you were truly enjoying the beautiful physical experience of sexual intimacy between two people? I realize you have not said it directly, but something in the way you just spoke made me feel as if you were ‘performing sex’ more so than being a partner in it.”

Man, it’s hard to believe you lived a few lives here and still don’t know some of this stuff. Everyone performs a little during sex, especially in the beginning of a relationship. You try harder, you make sure you do everything they like, and the way they like it too. I’d always make sure that the girl I was with was um, enjoying herself a lot… a few times too. Look, I know that sounds a little detached or something, but eventually you get to a point where you both settle in to a nice routine.

“The distillation of what you are saying seems to be that you ‘behave’ in certain ways that you are aware are not your usual behavior. You put on a sexual performance aimed at letting your partner see what a truly skilled lover you are – yet within some period of time both of those acts fall away and you return to being your authentic self. I do imagine that what is unsaid here is that you wait until you believe you have ‘hooked’ this new lover, and only then can you drop the facades and masks to reveal your true self. Yet, in the process of all that, it seems to me that your new partner may end up feeling deceived by you. Much like an advertised product you purchase, only to find that the real item does not match the advertisement’s promises.”

I, um… yeah, I can see what you’re getting at. I didn’t think I was deceiving anyone Omen, I was just trying to be a better me than I really was. I wasn’t trying to trick anyone into being with me, that doesn’t really seem possible anyway, in my opinion. I mean if anyone felt short-changed they were always perfectly free to leave.

“It sounds as if all of them did leave, Thomas. Were you still wishing to convince the two of us that it was just because they were ‘not the one for you’ as you previously have said?”

Wow, you give a pretty hard reality-check Omen. But, I swear, in all honesty I don’t know what more I could have done! I bent over backwards for some of those relationships, and they still went to shit. I went to counselors, either with my partner, or even on my own – all to figure out what was going wrong with my relationships, but none of it worked. Oh, things might improve for a few weeks, or even a month or two, but then we’d be right back where we were earlier. At some point I’d get tired of all of the ‘trying’ and I’d just call it quits. I was worn down and couldn’t do it anymore, so it was better to just end it and cut our losses.

“Thomas, all of those partners, both short and long term ones, all had one thing in common, didn’t they? You. You are the single common denominator in all of those relationships Thomas. Each new mix with a different person still included you, so only one ingredient was actually changed. These explanations you have woven around the circumstances of each failed relationship have only served to blind you to a truth I think that you have long suspected. Have you not felt that truth trying to come to the surface from time to time?”

Truth, what truth? That I’m a failure at relationships, that I just can’t seem to do it right? Yeah, I’ve felt that a lot, but I try to shove it down before it has a chance to take hold of me. Because if I let it really come up then I’ll have to admit that it’s never going to happen, and I’m destined to be single for the rest of my life. Sorry, but I’d rather not have that particular realization shoved in my face right now.

“Thomas, Thomas, Thomas… that is not at all the truth I was referring to – in fact what you just said is not a truth at all. What I was alluding to was that you have a fear of being your genuine self. You seem to believe that you, the real and authentic you, is somehow not ‘enough’ for another person to love. And, that is simply and completely not true, not one bit. You do not have any need to project ‘a better you’ for anyone, you do not need to ‘perform’ for anyone in order for them to love you.”

I don’t know what to do Omen, I just… I guess I’ve always been this way and I am starting to hate it. Goddammit, I don’t even know how I got like this, I don’t remember feeling this way when I was a kid, back then I had all kinds of confidence. I want to feel differently about myself, I really do, but I’m not even sure how to do that much. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m the only actor in the play who hasn’t even seen the damn script.

“If you really want other people to know the true Thomas, you will need to get to know the true Thomas. You will not be able to introduce anyone to the genuine you until you truly know yourself, until you believe that you are worth the love you seek. You have to be able to give the exact kind of love that you wish to receive, and to do that you must truly love yourself.”

That’s actually possible? I mean, I’ve heard that expression my whole life, but I always thought it was more about just liking who you are. Other times I just thought it was some new-age feel-good babble that people bought into but didn’t actually achieve. Do some people really feel love for themselves; an actual loving feeling about their inner self?

“Yes Thomas, many people really do have those very feelings about themselves. It is not a form of conceit, or selfishness either, but an appreciation of the person that you are. Let me give you an example that I am sure you can relate to. Thomas, you have a wonderful sense of humor that brings laughter to so many people around you. How do you feel about your sense of humor, do you appreciate it?”

Oh yeah, I love making people laugh. I really like joking around and playing with words or commenting on funny situations. I don’t mean at inappropriate times either, but when the moment is right, making a group of people laugh is pretty awesome. Yeah, I guess I appreciate my sense of humor a lot. It sure has gotten me through some tough times in the past too.

“Good, I already knew you did, but I did wish to hear you say it aloud too. Just one small feature of your personality such as that, and how you feel about it, is the very essence of loving yourself. Discover all of the things about yourself that you truly like, that you cannot picture yourself being without. Gather those things, look at them carefully, gently embrace how they make up the complex, but real-you.”

It’s not like I’ve been going around bashing myself all the time, I know that’s a sign of messed up self-esteem. But, I see what you’re saying – I don’t show the rest of the world the real me, like I’m afraid they’ll all point and laugh. Yet, at some level I don’t really think anything so terrible is actually true, it’s just irrational fears I guess. Damn, insecurities are like night shadows, you don’t really see them unless you look for them. In my case, I think I’ve found a lot of them too.

“More than some and less than others Thomas, such as are many things in life. The only perfect person, the only perfect soul is the one that created all of us, and we aspire to become closer to that wonderful being. But, in the process of doing so, we also need to practice both self-kindness and self-love. I have complete faith in your ability to discover those things about yourself that are so very worthy of your own love Thomas. In the practice of that I know that you will find so many others who are on the same path as you – some of whom will love all that makes up the real you as well.”

Conversations with Omen XIII

“I am afraid that we were sidetracked from your original question, but I assure you that I have not forgotten it. I am somewhat unsure of the scope of your question though, whether you mean the creation story of your species, or were you speaking of the entire universe?”

Can we do both? I was originally thinking about just the earth and humans, but since you mentioned it, the creation of the universe has always interested me as well. Can we start with that first, since that seems to be how things went anyways?

“Certainly Thomas. Once again I must caution you that I do not possess the entirety of knowledge of the events you wish to know about, but I think I do know enough to at least satisfy some of your curiosity.”

Great, let’s start with the Big Bang theory and how all of that got started.

“That is a most evocative title for a theory of the beginning of the current universe, yet I must dispel the notion of a massive explosion being at the heart of that creation.”

What? You’re saying that tens of thousands of physicists are wrong about how things got started here?

“I am not attacking your physics in some broader sense Thomas, just the theory of how the current universe came to be. The vast majority of human physics is well-researched good science, and has been reviewed and confirmed many times over. Yet, there are a small number of the most far reaching theories that are at least partially incorrect. I say that not to disparage any of the brilliant scientists who do such work, but to enlighten you, Thomas, to the notion that not all is what it seems. Effects do not always trace directly back to the absolute cause.”

So, they could be close to the truth, but just off a little? I can buy that, it’s largely how science works anyway, so I’ve got no argument with it. That being said, what’s the real story?

“All of the materials that you know as this universe were always here, that much I am positive about. When and how the Pure Love organized it into the current configuration, I do not have as much information about. Yet, I do believe that the term ‘organized’ is the best word for what was done. Making the purposeful from the idol, organizing the chaos in to something wonderful and useful, all of which was, or still is, part of a plan that I only have partial knowledge of.”

Okay, I get it, all of the building blocks were here already, the Pure Love just used them to make what we know as the universe from all of that. That’s not too hard to understand, but it also seems like you’re saying that this was just an enormous empty space before it was made useful.

“I am always amazed at how the earthbound are obsessed by beginnings and endings. As I mentioned earlier, there are many other possibilities, including that idea that some things have always been. When the purpose of something changes, often it is immediately seen as something different than it was. Yet, it is the same materials, the same foundations that existed always – just reorganized and used differently.”

Like taking sand and making it into glass, right?

“That analogy will suffice.”

Okay, but what was the ‘sand’ in your story?

“You have heard of what your scientists refer to as Dark Matter, and Dark Energy? They are the ‘sand’ in this analogy, the very building blocks of all that you know.”

Yeah, I’ve read about those, but I thought they were really just more speculation than actual theory.

“As I said, much of your physics are absolutely accurate.”

Wow, that’s pretty cool actually; I wish I could tell somebody that they’re right.

“Scientists will actually prove that in the very near future. I am not at all sure that your confirmation would assist them in their efforts.”

I was kidding Omen, I wasn’t really serious. Let’s get back to the creation story though, about something that’s more near and dear to me; the earth and human life?

“You may recall that I have already told you that there is much life in the universe that you are in now. Much of that life has existed for a greater period of time than life on earth has, but each are just as important as the others. A concept to keep in mind is that all life, no matter where it is, all exist for the benefit of soul growth. Each and every world that supports life was made to foster the soul journey that every soul is on.”

Then the earth is just another place, among many, that we live lives on? How many other worlds are there that have life on them?

“Yes to your first question, the earth is one among many places that souls live their lives on. As to your next question, I do not have an accurate answer for you. If you would be satisfied with a very general answer, I can tell you that it is in the thousands – or tens of thousands. Though, there is a strong chance that I am aware only of a portion of a much larger number.”

That’s amazing, am I the only one on earth that knows about this?

“It is likely that you are, but I cannot account for what other souls know, or at least believe in during their lives. Remember Thomas that you are the only one who has found your way past the veil of the afterlife. The mere fact that you and I converse as we do is an unprecedented event in human history. Furthermore, add to this that we have been allowed to continue on in this manner – well, that too is unprecedented.”

I hope you’re not telling me that because I am somehow abusing our relationship with all of my questions. I just figured that since I can talk to you as often as I do, I might as well see if I can get some answers to questions that cross my mind all the time. I don’t want to put you in an awkward position though, or get you in trouble. I just believe that if I asked you something I shouldn’t know about you’d tell me right away.

“Yes, of course I would tell you if there were any boundaries that were crossed, or about to be. Please though, do not be concerned with either of us ‘getting in trouble’ as you said. There is no trouble to be gotten in to, Thomas. I am always mindful of the information I give to you as I would never wish to compromise the natural progression of your soul journey.”

Well, I guess in a way I’ve done that myself already. Back when I first saw you, Seth and Kirk, I think I changed the natural progression of my journey.

“That is not necessarily true Thomas, as that event in itself may truly be your soul’s natural progression. Just because something is unusual, or has not been done before, does not make it unnatural.”

Hey, I might be the first person in a new evolution of people who will be able to contact their soul guides when they want to! I never thought of it like that before.

Conversations with Omen XII

Alright, I’ve avoided this long enough, I guess I didn’t want to seem completely stupid in front of you. It’s just that I remember when I was kid and I was in a religious training school, I was always getting in trouble for asking questions that annoyed the teachers. I really had important questions though, and if I was going to believe what they were saying, I just needed a couple of answers. They thought I was being purposely silly, or obtuse, just to get a rise out of the rest of the kids.

“Were you?”

Was I what? Oh, trying to make the other kids crack up – yeah, I can admit that I was sometimes, but that wasn’t until it was made clear to me that my questions were not appreciated. In the very beginning though, I was completely serious. They’d tell some bible story that was amazing to me, but I always had a few questions about them. I was too young to realize that not all stories came with background information.

“Hmm, sounded a bit suspicious to you I imagine. Did they give you a reason for not answering your important questions?”

Not exactly, but I do remember one guy who tried to. He was the one who headed up the program; in a regular school he’d have been the Principal. Anyway, I was sent to see him after a particularly annoying question that got the whole class in an uproar. I’m pretty sure that he’d been front-loaded about who I was, or who they thought I was. He was super patronizing to me, and basically just said that I needed to have more faith in the biblical stories. I guessed that ‘more faith’ meant less curiosity in my case.

“That is a terrible way to treat a young and thirsty mind Thomas, did you ever find the answers you sought?”

Nope, I just had to swallow back the things I wanted to know more about, at least until I was at an age where I decided it was mostly bullshit.

“You have certainly piqued my curiosity now. Can you remember one of the questions you were so eager to know the answer to?”

Sure, but I don’t think they really have answers to them. If a story is made up, or more like a legend that was loosely based on a real event, I don’t think there’s supporting evidence for it.

“Perhaps you might just humor me and let me hear one?”

Alright, but don’t laugh at this okay? After hearing the story about Noah’s Ark, I was having a really tough time understanding why everything had to be wiped out in order to cleanse the world of it’s sinning. I mean, people did the sinning right? Not the land animals, or fish, or even the birds. And even if it were just kept to the people, I just couldn’t see how the people on the other side of the world – people who’d never even heard of the bible, or God, why they had to drown too. I quickly figured out that I was the only person in that little classroom who saw that story as something bizarre and horrific.

All of the other kids thought it was just fine for billions of animals and innocent people to get flooded out because the Old Testament God was all pissed off at his creations. In fact, that was one of the times I remember the other kids weren’t laughing along with me, they were laughing at me for being such a dork.

“Ahh, the human phenomenon of group-think in action. Thomas, I can assure you that there were many more kids in that class who would have loved to hear a real answer to your question – as they were feeling very much the same as you were. They saw the first kids laugh at you, and did the same so they would not get laughed at as well. Yet, that does not mean that they were not just as curious as you were.”

“Furthermore, I agree that a story such as the one of Noah’s Ark can not really be supported with factual evidences that might answer your skeptical questions. I find it saddening that they would not have thought to suggest that is was more of a parable. That might have satisfied your curiosity and removed some of the horror of the story.”

Yeah, that at least would have given me something to think about for a while.

“I have a feeling that this was not the entirety of what you came to ask me about though. Please allow yourself now to ask what it is that has been on your mind for so very long.”

Well… wow, this is still hard, even now. Um, okay, when I was told the Creation story – in the Christian theology anyway, it started with ‘In the beginning… and God making light, then the heavens and earth. Well, even as a kid, my mind went instantly to the question ‘what was God doing just before he made light?’ Was he just coasting along in the darkness of some great black void that would soon become the universe? Why in the world would he have done that? Well, like I said a minute ago, I don’t really believe that story anyway, but I do still wonder about the beginning of things. I can safely figure out that just about every religion’s ‘God, or Gods’ are really constructions of the Pure Love – so my question then transfers to it. What is the real creation story? What was the Pure Love doing before he made all of us?

“Before I begin to answer the questions put before me, allow me to preface a bit. First I must let you know that I do not know the entire answer to all of what you are asking me, but I do have some of it. I will answer you as completely as I can, but please keep in mind that I am not the Pure Love, who would know more. Second, and a more difficult notion, your use of the term ‘beginning’ is going to cause us some issues.”

Issues? Why’s that? I never thought of it as a tough concept before; things begin and things end.

“Thomas, you are thinking in linear time, the only way that time usually makes sense to the earthbound. Linear time, or a timeline if you prefer, presumes that one event precedes another, then another, and so on. Time always marches forward by your understandings, and that is a natural understanding having the type of lives you live. All humans are born, they age and they eventually die – beginnings and endings, very tidy. Yet, that is not how things are everywhere Thomas, and it would take a tremendous amount of time to explain why that is.”

You mean, like where you’re at, beyond our life here, time isn’t a constant?

“Time exists in a somewhat different way here Thomas. Your time is based on the observable universe that you live in, that many other life forms live in as well. Planetary movements around stars, galaxies moving in the universal space, and even the biological progressions are evidence of time as you know it. It might take a bit of imagination, but consider the idea that not everything has beginnings and endings as you know them, and that in some places time is not a straight line moving in one single direction.”

You’re right about it taking some imagination, it almost makes my brain hurt to try to think of time that way. But, even if time isn’t linear to you, there’s still a ‘present’ isn’t there? Such as ‘right now’ – us having this talk is the present, right?

“There is now, the place the consciousness is focused upon. If you can picture time being like a vinyl record, such as one in your collection; the present is the needle that sits in the groove of the recording. You can choose to set the needle down in any part of the recording and you will instantly hear what is in that spot. The ‘now’ becomes wherever the needle is at the moment of contact with the vinyl record, yet all of the other passages remain as well. It is not a perfect analogy, but perhaps it begins to illustrate the concept for you.”

So you can skip around through time? Just go visit any time that you want to and then head back to the present?

“In a manner of speaking, yes; and as a non-earthbound soul, you are free to do the same. Though it may be an interesting method to review one of your own past lives, most souls do not do this as often as you might be thinking they do.”

Have I done that?

“You and I have indeed reviewed one of your past earthbound lives. What is unexpected by many souls who have done so is the emotional upheaval that is often caused by this type of review.”

Wait, so you all have emotions there, just like we do here?

“Yes Thomas, but it may be more fairly said that humans have a similar emotional capacity to those of us in the afterlife – not the other way around. But, to answer you more fully, we are filled with emotions from the Pure Love. You still may retain a sense of that from your near-death experiences as an infant. A feeling of love and acceptance surrounds each time you come back to this place.”

You feel emotional all the time there? What’s that like?

“Can you recall witnessing a scene, either in person or a recorded event that overwhelmed you with positive emotions? I know that your entertainments are replete with such scenes, although you do have to be open to the experience. But, when you have seen and experienced such a scene, one is filled with an upheaval of loving emotions, and most often tears are brought up as well. That is somewhat akin to what a soul feels here, and yes, all of the time.”

Wow, that’s crazy, how can you stand feeling like that all of the time?

“Are you saying that the times you had experienced emotions such as those, that you did not like it?”

No, I don’t mean it like that, but it’s a lot to handle. Sometimes it’s embarrassing too, if other people see you all teary-eyed and sniffling. Like you said, it’s overwhelming; and it’s kind of uncomfortable when it happens.

“What you are describing is discomfort then, not dislike. Insecurity in displaying your true emotions in the presence of others is a common human trait. Generally the older one gets, the more life experience one has, the easier it becomes to allow others to see the true you. When one gets to such a place they feel those emotions even more deeply, because they are not distracted from them by self-consciousness. As a soul in the afterlife, there is no self-consciousness to contend with and we are free to feel the depth and width of our emotions.”

That sounds pretty great, a little scary, but great. I also know you’re right about the age thing, I was way more self-conscious when I was younger. I feel like I grew into my emotional side when I got to be around forty years old. Now days a sad commercial on the TV can make me tear up. It’s sort of silly, but I still think it’s a good emotional place to be.