Conversations with Omen XVIII

I was wondering, back when you lived your earthbound lives, did people still revere the rich and famous?

“An interesting question Thomas, I hope you will tolerate a qualified answer from me. In my first earthbound life I inhabited an agrarian village on the banks of the Nile River. Although we were all aware of the powers of the families in the High House, we had almost no contact with them whatsoever. I am fairly sure that had we seen them, or knew more about them, we would have held them in high esteem. In my life as a senator of the Roman people, I suppose I was one of those that were revered by some of the people. Although I did not seek that out specifically, I can recall enjoying the adoration.”

Well sure, who wouldn’t love being admired for almost no other reason than being wealthy and powerful?

“Indeed, but that is not to say that I did not have the occasional conflicting feelings about it. There actually were times that I shunned the attention that my colleagues so dearly relished. I remember in one such case I asked a fellow senator if it wasn’t the adoration and gifts that he was interested in, and not the governing of the people. He was suitably confounded by my query, and roundly ignored me afterwards.”

Okay, so you did have some moments of consciousness about your own status then. I’m not completely sure what’s got me thinking about this, but I am kind of bothered by people’s status being elevated simply because they have lots of money. Even in this country, where we’re all supposed to be born equal, we still worship the rich and famous like they are the monarchy. It’s ironic that my country was founded on the premise that there are no monarchs, and people are all the same, but we don’t actually act that way.

“My thinking is that this social condition goes very far back in your human history, Thomas. Possibly back to when people lived very primitive lives, in very small social groups. It seems possible that the individual who collected the greatest amount of useful things, or was able to get the most food, would have been revered amongst their peers. It could be that what your society currently does is related to something that far back in your history. It just evolved to become about less practical items, instead of the most food it was the most gold, or the largest property. Of course, your history is replete with stories of megalomaniacs and tyrants who demanded respect and admiration from the peoples they ruled. By the time western monarchies came about, that admiration was almost a given for them.”

I can see that being the case back in times where having more of anything was probably a good thing, but now, in modern times? It just seems like people would have eventually dropped the notion that other people are somehow better because of wealth or fame. I just wish more people would see that those who really deserve our respect are often the ones we overlook. It shouldn’t matter if you’re rich or not.

“If you are speaking of individuals, and not groups, then there indeed might be much to be admired there, both in the rich, the poor, and everything in between. It is when one has preconceived notions about a person, or group, based on a status, or classification. Your complaint is about the wealthy and famous being revered for nothing more than that status in itself, but does the reverse not occur as well? The poor and the underprivileged are also victims of generalizations, most often very negative ones. Those generalizations are applied to them with just as little factual reasoning as the adoration of the rich.”

Do we do this simply because it’s too hard to look at individuals on a case by case basis? Is it just social laziness that makes us generalize?

“Speaking of people by generalized grouping is, more often than not, a social convention used to put across an idea that the speaker wants you to share. Whether it is ‘the rich are fabulous’ or ‘the poor are lazy’ they are both sweeping generalizations that would immediately fall apart upon individual inspection. It is my belief that as soon as one hears a speaker using generalizations such as those, one should be instantly cautious about what ideas are being put forth.”

But, aren’t some generalizations essentially true? Like the old saying about stereotypes; that they became what they are for some reason.

“We can easily concoct generalizations about many things that would be essentially true Thomas. ‘Human beings need air, food and water to live’ would be essentially correct, yet of what value is it? That in itself is a good question to bear in mind when you hear generalizations being spoken like they are facts. What value is it bringing to the conversation? I believe it safe to say that it most likely brings value to the speaker’s argument, but as a false support system.”

I think you’re probably right about that Omen, I don’t think that a genuinely intelligent speaker would use many generalizations. I think they’d use specifics and actual data to support the point they want to make. But, back to what I was originally asking about, and keeping in mind you can’t reveal the future to me; will we ever get past worshipping the rich and famous?

Thomas, all of the cultures in your world are evolving, each in myriad different ways. Your own culture, or more specifically the economic system of that culture, is based in capitalism. That in itself is a wealth-centric economic system that disproportionately benefits a small number of people at the highest income and wealth level. That is not to say that others do not benefit as well, just not as much as those who own the means of production and sales. In other cultures in your world they have varying economic systems that are either close to what you have, or not terribly different. The few countries that do have greatly differing systems have traditionally been the enemies of your country.”

Yeah, why is that anyway? Why have the socialists and communists always been the enemy of capitalist nations?

“An excellent question Thomas, I do hope you will research an answer for it. I do believe that a vast majority of the citizens of capitalist nations have not done so. (Yes, I realize that was a generalization, but it is one I am willing to stand behind.) I do think that if you look into the answer for your question you will be a bit surprised at the possible answers to it.”

Conversations with Omen XVII

I don’t remember as much about the afterlife as you think I do, mostly it’s just some feelings and sounds, I guess. What do people look like there? Will I see my parents just like they were the last time I saw them here, or some younger idealized version of them?

“Thomas, perhaps I truly have been thinking that you remember more than you actually do, I apologize for that. Although I do want to assure you that remembering feelings and sounds from the afterlife is extraordinary in itself. It also comprises a great deal of what the afterlife is to us, I am afraid it is somewhat less visual than you are imagining. You are applying uniquely human qualities to the souls of the afterlife, and that simply isn’t accurate. We are souls here, pure energy created by the Pure Love, and we can be whatever we choose to be here.”

Oh, that’s kind of cool though.

“I hope it will not disappoint you too much to know that most souls do not choose to manifest as anything more than their natural state – which to you would resemble a small sphere of light. Yet, as I said, we can choose to manifest ourselves in almost any manner we choose to. This form that I am appearing in now is by my own choice, and I did so to make you the most comfortable in my presence.”

I guess I thought that this is how you always look, whether you’re here or there. You kind of look like a Roman senator from the Julius Caesar days.

“You are essentially correct about that Thomas. I was indeed a senator of Rome, but not during the reign of Julius Caesar – many years before he was born. I chose this image because I thought it the most relatable one for you to accept. I also lived a very satisfying earthbound life in this form, and it was my last life lived here as well. I do hope you do not feel deceived by this information.”

No, not at all, it’s pretty fascinating actually. Wow, you were a senator, that’s pretty cool in my book, I bet you did some great things. Man, that just triggered a bunch of new questions in my mind, but I don’t want to get too far away from the first topic just yet. So, if you chose this form to appear to me in, you’re kind of saying that you could have chosen almost anything else?

“Essentially, yes. Although I would always choose a form that would be acceptable to you, and not something so foreign that you would be frightened by me. I certainly would not choose to manifest as a life form you have never seen before, that wouldn’t make sense. Just as if I were to need to manifest to a different being of another world, I would choose to appear as one of their familiars.”

So, when on Mars, do as the Martians do, huh?

“That is an amusing corollary Thomas, but you are basically correct in your thinking. But, in the afterlife you and I might just choose to be our natural soul-selves. We would have no need to appear as anything else. The same would be true if you were in contact with the souls that were your parents in your life here, you would still recognize them easily because you have known them for so long. Their energy and their love is very familiar to you, as yours is to them too.”

That makes sense, I guess. But, it also sounds like you’re saying that we don’t really ‘see’ each other there. It seems like you’re describing the souls as feeling each other more than seeing.

“That is the uniquely human quality I mentioned earlier. You are imagining eyes where there are none, yet that does not strictly mean we do not see. This is difficult, but let me use an example if I may. In your mind you can picture almost anything that you have ever seen, and also many things that you have not. Yet, you are not actually seeing those images with your eyes are you? Humans use the term ‘mind’s eye’ sometimes to describe seeing images in their imaginations; that is somewhat similar to how it works here. I hope that helps you understand this a bit more.”

Yeah, actually that helps a lot. I guess because I am a human right now I tend to think of everything in those terms. All I know is that I really was picturing that I would visually see my loved ones when I got to the afterlife. There was a lot about that particular idea that didn’t really make sense though, so your explanation actually cleared up the questions. I don’t ‘see’ my mom as she was here, I’ll feel her energy and familiar presence when we meet again.

“Yes, very good Thomas, I am beginning to think that you remember a bit more about the afterlife than you led me to believe.”

Just to clarify something; once I’m there, my mother isn’t really my mother, is she? I mean, it’s a soul I know, or will remember that I know once I’m there. But, it’s not like I’m going to feel just like I felt about her here, back when she was alive, right?

“You are correct in your thinking Thomas, but keep something in mind – something you have not thought of yet; the feelings you will experience in the reunion with that soul will likely outstrip by far the mother image you remember. Reuniting with a soul that you have known for such a very long time is a fantastic experience, lifetimes replay between you in mere moments. All of the contacts and various relationships you have had come back in an instant, and the associated emotions are deep and satisfying.”

You’re saying that we instantly recall all of the lives that we’ve had together, no matter what our relationship was? That’s pretty interesting actually, especially if we’ve been a lot of different things to each other. I mean, I’m guess that we could have been anything and everything with all of the souls we’ve been with, right? Mother – son, husband – wife, cousins, or anything and everything else.

“Yes Thomas, that too is correct. Soul lives are lived at different times and not always in a linear timeline. You could have been the mother to that same soul in your last lives here, or even passing acquaintances that only briefly knew each other. The amazing part is being able to see all of those lives and how they intersected each time. It is quite amazing.”

Conversations with Omen XVI

“You look a bit shaken Thomas, is everything alright?”

It was just a tough day at my work, and then on the way home some jerk was harassing me on the freeway. I guess he thought everyone was going too slow, but it wasn’t like I could do anything about it. He was behind me, and then as soon as there was a small space, he accelerated past my car and gave me the finger. I still don’t know what the hell he thought I did.

“His rude gesture offended and irritated you?”

Well sure, he was looking like a crazy man as he passed and flipped me off. It was only directed at me, there wasn’t anyone else he was looking at. I almost yelled something back at him, but I decided that in today’s world it was too risky. I mean, what if he turned out to really be crazy? He could have turned violent on me if I made him any madder than he already was.

“Your frustration, in the face of powerlessness is obvious, but I do not think you have given yourself the time to see it differently. Allowing yourself time to deconstruct the event can be very helpful in reducing your frustration, thereby lowering stress and remaining healthier both physically and mentally.”

I think I have it in pretty good perspective Omen; I was minding my own business driving in bad traffic, and a total ass-hat went crazy on me. Boom, done.

“I am not sure if that is more of your humor Thomas, or if you truly are thinking that way. Either way, allow me to explain what I meant; a method of deconstructing almost any poor interaction and then being able to see it in a new light, so to speak. Your encounter with that other driver was very upsetting to you, it raised your physical reactions in much the same way a physically dangerous encounter would. Your emotions suddenly rage, your pulse rises, and you become angry and frustrated in just seconds. For some people in similar situations, they can be moved to actual physical violence and retaliation. Now, picture in your mind a different set of reactions that are not based in ego, but are thoughtful and present. The angry driver does just what you said he did, but in this new way of thinking you step back from instant reaction and acknowledge that fact that he is already a very angry man.”

“Furthermore, by the simple acknowledgement that he is an angry person, you can leave that with him – it is his anger, not yours. As you said, you believe you did nothing to offend him except be the unfortunate one in the car directly in front of his. So, you are not culpable for any transgressions against that man, you have nothing to feel apologetic for. You are literally blame-free in this situation, yet that man is still angry enough to make a rude gesture at you. Now perhaps you can see that all of the negativity was brought by that man, and did not exist in your world until he behaved as he did. Yet, that brief moment of his rude behavior was able to trigger an equally angry inner reaction in you.”

Yeah, okay, I can see that.

“Deconstruction involves looking at why that triggered all of the emotions that you suddenly felt, and what those emotions are based upon. In this case, as I said earlier, you most likely felt powerless to really do anything about his behavior, or even inform him that he offended you. That leads to frustration, the emotion most related to not being able to accomplish something we very much want to do. Yet, let us look a bit deeper if we can, go down a level to see what causes you to feel like you want to do something about the situation. That most often springs from the ego Thomas.”

The ego, or my ego I guess… how does that fit in to this?

“The human ego is a complex mental component that I will admit I do not fully understand, but nevertheless I do know that it is able to be tamed. It is the ego that makes you feel that you need to react in situations such as that one. Your ego tells you that you have been trespassed against, that you have been insulted, and that you are required to react to it. It is your ego that tells you that the specific hand gesture he made to you was a very insulting one that was intended to hurt you; and it is the ego that makes you feel hurt.”

Well, it was insulting wasn’t it? It’s not like there’s a bunch of other interpretations for the middle finger gesture. As far as I know there isn’t any society on earth that doesn’t know what it generally means. He wasn’t saying ‘hello’ to me, he wasn’t saying that I’m number one in his book.

“I hope you are not being intentionally obtuse Thomas, I do believe that you know what I am trying to get at here. You have the choice to quiet your ego, or better yet, to hear it and choose to set that message aside for one that is more reasoned. You can choose to see the situation as one where a very angry man passed you in an aggressive manner and made a rude gesture; and nothing more. He was the angry one, he was the frustrated one, he was the one that was almost out of control – not you. If I were walking about your town trying to sell poison would you be inclined to buy some from me? I think not, nor would anyone else for that matter. If you picture that man in a similar light, I think you can begin to understand what I am saying.”

Okay, you’re saying that he’s the one selling poison, in this case a metaphor for his anger, and that I bought some. Am I close?

“Yes, very good Thomas, that is almost exactly right. That man is like a storm that you can choose to avoid, and not get caught in. When you see that all of the anger and aggression belongs with him, you can choose to not accept any of it. You can leave those emotions with him, and then congratulate yourself on remaining in your own space and retaining your own calm mental state.”

That sounds a lot easier said than done Omen, and I’m not sure I’m quite that evolved yet. But, I do see your point now; if I really were able to do that then I can picture the whole thing ending up differently. I probably wouldn’t be mad or frustrated at all; I’d see it as his BS that has nothing to do with me. I mean, that sounds great but how do I train my brain to slow my ego’s almost instant-response to situations like that?

“Ah, I do not recall saying that this is an easy process Thomas. In fact it is quite difficult at first to even acknowledge that you are in a situation that calls for this new way of thinking. You may want to begin with just the acknowledgement piece of it. Noticing the rise in emotions and the suddenly changing physical responses in your body are both good markers to pay attention to. Think of those like alarms going off that require you to do something in order to quiet them. If you can immediately become aware of those responses you can then begin to slow yourself down, and you might find that you have time to choose a different response.”

In other words, I can train myself to notice the emotions kicking up, and then maybe breathe slowly to calm myself and choose not to react. I can reject what my ego is telling me to do and then choose to do what my higher-self knows is a better response.

“Yes, exactly right Thomas. I believe you will find that there is a hidden reward in this new thinking as well. You will come to realize that you are calmer, and that you are not a slave to your ego anymore. You will feel as if a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders when you no longer take on someone else’s current emotional situation.”

So, what’s the point of having an ego then? I mean it sure seems like it gets us in trouble by causing us to make rash decisions. Why do we have an ego at all?

“That is a very difficult question Thomas, and I can only speculate. The ego is an important part of the human psychological makeup, especially when it is in-check, so to speak. It becomes less of a benefit when one allows it to control them. Ego can serve beneficial purposes in a person’s life Thomas; it helps provide your sense of self-worth, along with the soul. When ego and soul work in harmony there is a balance within you. You find that your decision making is based less on emotional response and more on facts and reality.”

How does the soul balance out the ego?

“The ego will tell you that you are a very important person, the soul will tell you that you are but one of a billion souls living on the planet. That is a balance because they are both right; you are important, but so is everyone else. You are one of billions, yet you are unique and deserving of respect. That is the balance, self-worth that is in healthy perspective.”

Conversations with Omen XV

If we’re all part of the Pure Love, and we’re on our journeys to become more enlightened souls here, how come we have so many imperfections?

“Imperfections? I am not completely clear on how you mean it when you use that word. Do you mean that in general humans have various issues to work through?”

Okay, I suppose using the term ‘imperfections’ implies that I think somehow we could be perfect, but that’s not what I really mean. I guess I mean that we all have struggles we go through, whether it’s physical, mental or emotional. I know we spoke once about the lives of the disabled, but this time I was thinking about something more personal or internal. Even something like a broken heart can be super hard for people to get over, and the emotional pain is very real.

“I think I see now what you are asking me, and there is no simple answer Thomas. I think you already know that in the general sense every earthbound soul goes through innumerable emotional challenges in their lives. I suspect that you are indirectly asking me about your own personal emotional challenges.”

I don’t know, maybe I am – maybe that’s my process, to indirectly inquire about the lives of others so I can garner insight into my own crap. Either way, I guess I just wonder about the major emotional crisis we go through here, even something like the feeling of loneliness can be a pretty crippling state of mind for some.

“Indeed, loneliness is often one of the most disturbing emotions that humans will feel in their lives. There are, of course, various kinds of loneliness that people experience, but all involve a disconnected feeling from something, or someone. As souls in the afterlife, one is never disconnected from anything – we are in constant contact with all others and the Pure Love.”

Really, there’s no privacy there?

“Thomas, the idea of privacy is an earthbound concept and has no useful meaning here. Where you are privacy indicates that there are things, behaviors, or thoughts that one wishes to not have exposed to others. That is a foreign concept here, we don’t need anything like that when we all are in the light of the Pure Love.”

Well, let me ask this then; can you think of something and keep it to yourself? Is that possible, or even allowed?

“Yes, that is possible, and it is not forbidden in any way. My interactions with you are kept mostly to myself, and only shared with a few others. But, that is not because there is something shameful or diminishing about this, it was at the request of my own guide. I believe that the decision was based upon the unusualness of our situation, and not because it needs to remain a secret.”

Man, this communal communication and connectedness you describe is one of the hardest things for me to absorb in a meaningful way. It’s so completely different from the way the human mind works, and how we socialize here. I mean, generally speaking we like our privacy, and having our thoughts remain our own. I can’t even imagine what chaos I’d cause if the people around me suddenly knew every thought I was thinking. I have some pretty bizarre and random thoughts sometimes.

“What you are describing is a phenomenon of the human mind, and it does not apply here. If your memory was a bit more clear about what things are like in the afterlife, you would know that we do not experience random thoughts, nor bizarre ones either.”

Okay, this is interesting to me, and again, kind of hard to absorb quickly. One reason is that I have always associated my creativity with random thoughts. My writing ideas, my humor and even my creative cooking ideas have almost all come from random thoughts. It’s hard to picture not having those. You lived some earthbound lives, can you remember having sudden random thoughts and ideas?

“Yes, of course I do, but from the perspective of where I am now, it does not seem all too unusual that we do not have that. Truthfully, Thomas, I do not believe that the situations you have described are quite as random as you imagine they are. Even other humans have described the very same things as ‘sudden inspirations’ or ‘flashes of brilliance’ at various times. It is you that has decided that they are random-thoughts, as a way of explaining their existence, but that does not make it a fact.”

Well, that’s interesting too. Inspirations sound nicer to me actually, and thinking that they might not be totally random is kind of cool. I suspected, on some level, that calling them random thoughts was shorting myself on credit. I don’t say that like I’m needing pats on the back, but just entertaining how I might really be creating some good stuff with my own brain.

“It might be that you have an inner belief that all creativity comes through a process somewhat like solving a mathematics problem. Therefore if you suddenly have an idea about something new, you choose to attribute it to a random thought.”

Yeah, I can see that now. I’m pretty sure you hit the nail on the head there Omen, that’s exactly what I do. I guess I’d hear stories about people like Shakespeare, or Hemmingway, or even famous musicians, and I’d get this mental picture of them slaving over an idea for months. I could picture them agonizing over details and structures, and being perfectionists about the whole process. All in my own imagination, and not based on anything I’d read about them. It was just my idea about how the super-creative do their work.

“That is an excellent realization Thomas; I do think you would be surprised about how much of what you accept as fact is merely comfortable fabrications you have created in lieu of actual fact. As I say that, I also understand that it is possibly not the best mental position to be in to constantly question the validity of your own beliefs. Perhaps it is best just to have glimpsed at how this process works, and scrutinize on a case by case basis.”

Now I’m wondering about what other preconceived notions I have that are clouding my understanding of how things really are. I mean it’s not like I think I should see everything in its purest form, but I hope I’m not kidding myself about a lot of crap either. How would I really know, Omen?

“A very difficult question to answer, and you already know that I am cautious about answering queries you pose if my answer might alter your future choices. I can say this much, a well know adage in your society used to be ‘question everything’ – it is still sound advice.”

Conversations with Omen XIV

Recently we were talking about when I was born, or as you put it, when I entered this earthbound life. You’d said that for some souls, it’s hard to leave the afterlife because of the loss of the feeling of being there. The emotional feeling is so complete and warm and so-on; am I getting it right?

“You are paraphrasing more than one conversation Thomas, but you are essentially correct. It is sometimes difficult for some souls to leave that very complete feeling for an earthbound life. But, keep in mind that very very few have any kind of recall of that experience once they are joined with the physical body. Is there something new on your mind you wish to discuss?”

Maybe… I was doing some thinking last night about my past, and I came up with an odd theory that might explain some of my behavior when I was younger. I’m not sure what made me come up with this, but once I got the notion of it I just felt like maybe it was true.

“Please go on Thomas, you have piqued my curiosity.”

Well, as I’m sure you know since you’ve been around throughout my life, when I was a younger man I was somewhat of a womanizer, as they say. I don’t mean that in some kind of self-judgmental way, I’m just trying to get a starting point for this. I dated a lot of women over the years, and I had a lot of different relationships, both long and short ones. But, in all fairness I was unmarried and I was looking for a committed long-term partnership.

“There is no need to justify your behavior to me Thomas, but I do worry that you sound as if you have unresolved issues with your own past.”

No, not really. I mean I do think about my past a lot, but not because I’m guilty-feeling about it, I just reexamine my past behavior to understand my motivations. Maybe it’s just part of my own learning process, or maybe it’s simply me trying to reframe my perspective on things. I suppose that almost everyone has some unresolved issues from their past though, it’s just a matter of amount or degree. I don’t think I have any more regrets than the average guy my age has.

“I did not mean to derail your thought process by having you consider your own reasoning, I apologize for that. Please continue with your original purpose.”

Well, I was thinking about the motivations I had back then, when I was dating so much – so many different people, one after another. Serial dating as one of my friends called it, although I blew that off back then. Now I see what they meant, but it’s still debatable if that’s what I was doing.

“Can you think back to that time in your life for a moment and recall what you thought your motivations was at that time?”

I guess I’d have said I was just looking for a good relationship, a romantic relationship. Maybe I’d have even said marriage back then too, I don’t know. I do remember that each time I was attracted to someone, I’d think that I had found something so powerful and important. Something about this new person was going to change my life in some great way, I just knew it.

“Each new potential relationship was full chock-full of possibilities in your mind?”

Yeah, I always had such high hopes, such big ideas about how things were going to be. It never seemed like a fantasy either, my feelings were so real and intense. I’m pretty sure I even scared a few women away with my ‘tell them everything – show them everything’ way of expressing myself. It’s just that so much was bursting out inside me, I thought it was the right thing to do to let it all out. I think I saw it as being more vulnerable and open. I’m not sure that’s how they saw it though. I just wanted to be loved and accepted so badly that I’d over do it.

“I am curious about how you developed such strong feelings in such a short time?”

I’ve thought about that too, many times, but I don’t really have a good answer so far. It was probably a combination of my own imagination and a ton of wishful thinking too. I think the psychological types call it projection – everything I wanted I imagined that new person had for me. That, combined with my own insecurities made for a pretty intense jumble of emotions. The weird thing was that it all felt completely normal to me, I never questioned my thinking as it was happening.

“When those relationships ended, were you able to reflect on them and gain new perspective?”

Probably not right at first, but after some period of time passed I could. Actually it usually took years before I could really look at some of them with any kind of objectivity. Otherwise I’d just kid myself into thinking that we just weren’t right for each other, that it was nobody’s fault. With time as a buffer I could come up with better answers. I could sometimes see where I’d been needy, or codependent with someone, or occasionally the opposite where I was almost totally withdrawn. Sometimes after an especially emotional breakup I’d think I was fine, and start into a new relationship – but I was still hurting inside so I wasn’t really emotionally available. I was just looking for a bandage to stop the emotional bleeding.

“I am impressed Thomas, you have truly done a great deal of thinking about your past. Your insight is fairly clear and balanced, which is uncommon for many people no matter what age they are. I hope you will consider this next question just as thoughtfully; why do you think you were looking for such complete acceptance in the eyes of others?”

Well, I definitely wanted to be loved, and to find someone who could, or would, accept me just as I was. I mean being accepted by someone, really and truly accepted as you are is a pretty big deal. There were even a few times where I thought I’d found that, but not really. New lovers really want to please each other at the beginning of relationships, and I would mistake that for acceptance and love. After some period of time went by, there would suddenly be criticisms and judgments bubbling up to the surface. Arguments, fights and insults weren’t far behind.

“That must have been very hurtful when it happened. How did you deal with that kind of personal diminishment?”

I’m a pretty tolerant guy, so at first I’d just try to accommodate whatever the issue was about – change my behavior, watch my language, clean up more, etcetera… But, that wasn’t really what it was all about, so the relationship would usually fall apart not long afterward. I never found a way to not be the actual me I guess. As for dealing with it, as I said a minute ago, I’d just tell myself we weren’t ‘meant to be’, cry in my beer for a few days, and slowly move on.

“You do not believe that those criticisms left you with any long term hurt, scars still unresolved?”

You know, I’m sure it did sometimes, and I don’t know for how long either. I’d just hang out with my friends, throw myself into whatever work I was doing at the time, and get over it. After a week or two I was ready to see what the possibilities out there were. I was back on the market and looking for a real relationship again. I don’t think any of it still bother me, not anymore.

“May I ask why you refer to it as a ‘real relationship’? Did you look at the ones that did not work out as not-real?”

Well, there always seemed to be some level of deception in a lot of my relationships, so I guess I just pictured that the best relationships were more real, more authentic. No masks, no games or hidden agendas – just two people open to each other. Basically, no bullshitting each other, always being honest and genuine.

“Were you guilty of deceptions yourself?”

I mean everybody probably is, Omen, I’m not special in that respect. I’m sure I probably over-sold myself a little on occasions, but it wasn’t like I was outright lying to people. Everyone I know has probably done all of the same things I have, it’s just part of the dating game.

“The dating game… that seems to indicate that you did not see your quest for a true relationship as something truly serious. Did it seem like a game to you?”

No, well, I mean not in the actual sense of a fun-game. It’s just an expression we use about how people act when they’re dating each other, when they’re sizing each other up. We all put on our best faces, so to speak, and we’re on our very best behavior. No one wants to scare someone away by being a dork, or being rude or whatever. You want to make a great impression so you have a shot at another date.

“But, if you are both wearing your facades, then it seems true to me that you both would be falling into a relationship based upon unreality; thereby almost certainly dooming the relationship from the beginning. I say that because given enough time you will eventually ‘discover’ the true person beneath the veneers. It seems it makes more sense to be your true unfiltered self for each other and see what genuine attractions develop.”

Well, yeah, that’s probably the best way to go about it, but you’d be very single for a long time before you finally met the one person who liked what they saw.

“So, besides looking for a true relationship, you were also afraid of being single for long periods of time?”

I wouldn’t say afraid, more like I just didn’t want that. I liked being with someone, I enjoyed the companionship, the learning about each other, and the sex of course. The sex was always so good at first, but even that would fall apart eventually. No matter what I did, or how good I did it, there would always be that fade-out of the sex life.

“Do you feel like you were truly enjoying the beautiful physical experience of sexual intimacy between two people? I realize you have not said it directly, but something in the way you just spoke made me feel as if you were ‘performing sex’ more so than being a partner in it.”

Man, it’s hard to believe you lived a few lives here and still don’t know some of this stuff. Everyone performs a little during sex, especially in the beginning of a relationship. You try harder, you make sure you do everything they like, and the way they like it too. I’d always make sure that the girl I was with was um, enjoying herself a lot… a few times too. Look, I know that sounds a little detached or something, but eventually you get to a point where you both settle in to a nice routine.

“The distillation of what you are saying seems to be that you ‘behave’ in certain ways that you are aware are not your usual behavior. You put on a sexual performance aimed at letting your partner see what a truly skilled lover you are – yet within some period of time both of those acts fall away and you return to being your authentic self. I do imagine that what is unsaid here is that you wait until you believe you have ‘hooked’ this new lover, and only then can you drop the facades and masks to reveal your true self. Yet, in the process of all that, it seems to me that your new partner may end up feeling deceived by you. Much like an advertised product you purchase, only to find that the real item does not match the advertisement’s promises.”

I, um… yeah, I can see what you’re getting at. I didn’t think I was deceiving anyone Omen, I was just trying to be a better me than I really was. I wasn’t trying to trick anyone into being with me, that doesn’t really seem possible anyway, in my opinion. I mean if anyone felt short-changed they were always perfectly free to leave.

“It sounds as if all of them did leave, Thomas. Were you still wishing to convince the two of us that it was just because they were ‘not the one for you’ as you previously have said?”

Wow, you give a pretty hard reality-check Omen. But, I swear, in all honesty I don’t know what more I could have done! I bent over backwards for some of those relationships, and they still went to shit. I went to counselors, either with my partner, or even on my own – all to figure out what was going wrong with my relationships, but none of it worked. Oh, things might improve for a few weeks, or even a month or two, but then we’d be right back where we were earlier. At some point I’d get tired of all of the ‘trying’ and I’d just call it quits. I was worn down and couldn’t do it anymore, so it was better to just end it and cut our losses.

“Thomas, all of those partners, both short and long term ones, all had one thing in common, didn’t they? You. You are the single common denominator in all of those relationships Thomas. Each new mix with a different person still included you, so only one ingredient was actually changed. These explanations you have woven around the circumstances of each failed relationship have only served to blind you to a truth I think that you have long suspected. Have you not felt that truth trying to come to the surface from time to time?”

Truth, what truth? That I’m a failure at relationships, that I just can’t seem to do it right? Yeah, I’ve felt that a lot, but I try to shove it down before it has a chance to take hold of me. Because if I let it really come up then I’ll have to admit that it’s never going to happen, and I’m destined to be single for the rest of my life. Sorry, but I’d rather not have that particular realization shoved in my face right now.

“Thomas, Thomas, Thomas… that is not at all the truth I was referring to – in fact what you just said is not a truth at all. What I was alluding to was that you have a fear of being your genuine self. You seem to believe that you, the real and authentic you, is somehow not ‘enough’ for another person to love. And, that is simply and completely not true, not one bit. You do not have any need to project ‘a better you’ for anyone, you do not need to ‘perform’ for anyone in order for them to love you.”

I don’t know what to do Omen, I just… I guess I’ve always been this way and I am starting to hate it. Goddammit, I don’t even know how I got like this, I don’t remember feeling this way when I was a kid, back then I had all kinds of confidence. I want to feel differently about myself, I really do, but I’m not even sure how to do that much. I’m so tired of feeling like I’m the only actor in the play who hasn’t even seen the damn script.

“If you really want other people to know the true Thomas, you will need to get to know the true Thomas. You will not be able to introduce anyone to the genuine you until you truly know yourself, until you believe that you are worth the love you seek. You have to be able to give the exact kind of love that you wish to receive, and to do that you must truly love yourself.”

That’s actually possible? I mean, I’ve heard that expression my whole life, but I always thought it was more about just liking who you are. Other times I just thought it was some new-age feel-good babble that people bought into but didn’t actually achieve. Do some people really feel love for themselves; an actual loving feeling about their inner self?

“Yes Thomas, many people really do have those very feelings about themselves. It is not a form of conceit, or selfishness either, but an appreciation of the person that you are. Let me give you an example that I am sure you can relate to. Thomas, you have a wonderful sense of humor that brings laughter to so many people around you. How do you feel about your sense of humor, do you appreciate it?”

Oh yeah, I love making people laugh. I really like joking around and playing with words or commenting on funny situations. I don’t mean at inappropriate times either, but when the moment is right, making a group of people laugh is pretty awesome. Yeah, I guess I appreciate my sense of humor a lot. It sure has gotten me through some tough times in the past too.

“Good, I already knew you did, but I did wish to hear you say it aloud too. Just one small feature of your personality such as that, and how you feel about it, is the very essence of loving yourself. Discover all of the things about yourself that you truly like, that you cannot picture yourself being without. Gather those things, look at them carefully, gently embrace how they make up the complex, but real-you.”

It’s not like I’ve been going around bashing myself all the time, I know that’s a sign of messed up self-esteem. But, I see what you’re saying – I don’t show the rest of the world the real me, like I’m afraid they’ll all point and laugh. Yet, at some level I don’t really think anything so terrible is actually true, it’s just irrational fears I guess. Damn, insecurities are like night shadows, you don’t really see them unless you look for them. In my case, I think I’ve found a lot of them too.

“More than some and less than others Thomas, such as are many things in life. The only perfect person, the only perfect soul is the one that created all of us, and we aspire to become closer to that wonderful being. But, in the process of doing so, we also need to practice both self-kindness and self-love. I have complete faith in your ability to discover those things about yourself that are so very worthy of your own love Thomas. In the practice of that I know that you will find so many others who are on the same path as you – some of whom will love all that makes up the real you as well.”

Conversations with Omen XIII

“I am afraid that we were sidetracked from your original question, but I assure you that I have not forgotten it. I am somewhat unsure of the scope of your question though, whether you mean the creation story of your species, or were you speaking of the entire universe?”

Can we do both? I was originally thinking about just the earth and humans, but since you mentioned it, the creation of the universe has always interested me as well. Can we start with that first, since that seems to be how things went anyways?

“Certainly Thomas. Once again I must caution you that I do not possess the entirety of knowledge of the events you wish to know about, but I think I do know enough to at least satisfy some of your curiosity.”

Great, let’s start with the Big Bang theory and how all of that got started.

“That is a most evocative title for a theory of the beginning of the current universe, yet I must dispel the notion of a massive explosion being at the heart of that creation.”

What? You’re saying that tens of thousands of physicists are wrong about how things got started here?

“I am not attacking your physics in some broader sense Thomas, just the theory of how the current universe came to be. The vast majority of human physics is well-researched good science, and has been reviewed and confirmed many times over. Yet, there are a small number of the most far reaching theories that are at least partially incorrect. I say that not to disparage any of the brilliant scientists who do such work, but to enlighten you, Thomas, to the notion that not all is what it seems. Effects do not always trace directly back to the absolute cause.”

So, they could be close to the truth, but just off a little? I can buy that, it’s largely how science works anyway, so I’ve got no argument with it. That being said, what’s the real story?

“All of the materials that you know as this universe were always here, that much I am positive about. When and how the Pure Love organized it into the current configuration, I do not have as much information about. Yet, I do believe that the term ‘organized’ is the best word for what was done. Making the purposeful from the idol, organizing the chaos in to something wonderful and useful, all of which was, or still is, part of a plan that I only have partial knowledge of.”

Okay, I get it, all of the building blocks were here already, the Pure Love just used them to make what we know as the universe from all of that. That’s not too hard to understand, but it also seems like you’re saying that this was just an enormous empty space before it was made useful.

“I am always amazed at how the earthbound are obsessed by beginnings and endings. As I mentioned earlier, there are many other possibilities, including that idea that some things have always been. When the purpose of something changes, often it is immediately seen as something different than it was. Yet, it is the same materials, the same foundations that existed always – just reorganized and used differently.”

Like taking sand and making it into glass, right?

“That analogy will suffice.”

Okay, but what was the ‘sand’ in your story?

“You have heard of what your scientists refer to as Dark Matter, and Dark Energy? They are the ‘sand’ in this analogy, the very building blocks of all that you know.”

Yeah, I’ve read about those, but I thought they were really just more speculation than actual theory.

“As I said, much of your physics are absolutely accurate.”

Wow, that’s pretty cool actually; I wish I could tell somebody that they’re right.

“Scientists will actually prove that in the very near future. I am not at all sure that your confirmation would assist them in their efforts.”

I was kidding Omen, I wasn’t really serious. Let’s get back to the creation story though, about something that’s more near and dear to me; the earth and human life?

“You may recall that I have already told you that there is much life in the universe that you are in now. Much of that life has existed for a greater period of time than life on earth has, but each are just as important as the others. A concept to keep in mind is that all life, no matter where it is, all exist for the benefit of soul growth. Each and every world that supports life was made to foster the soul journey that every soul is on.”

Then the earth is just another place, among many, that we live lives on? How many other worlds are there that have life on them?

“Yes to your first question, the earth is one among many places that souls live their lives on. As to your next question, I do not have an accurate answer for you. If you would be satisfied with a very general answer, I can tell you that it is in the thousands – or tens of thousands. Though, there is a strong chance that I am aware only of a portion of a much larger number.”

That’s amazing, am I the only one on earth that knows about this?

“It is likely that you are, but I cannot account for what other souls know, or at least believe in during their lives. Remember Thomas that you are the only one who has found your way past the veil of the afterlife. The mere fact that you and I converse as we do is an unprecedented event in human history. Furthermore, add to this that we have been allowed to continue on in this manner – well, that too is unprecedented.”

I hope you’re not telling me that because I am somehow abusing our relationship with all of my questions. I just figured that since I can talk to you as often as I do, I might as well see if I can get some answers to questions that cross my mind all the time. I don’t want to put you in an awkward position though, or get you in trouble. I just believe that if I asked you something I shouldn’t know about you’d tell me right away.

“Yes, of course I would tell you if there were any boundaries that were crossed, or about to be. Please though, do not be concerned with either of us ‘getting in trouble’ as you said. There is no trouble to be gotten in to, Thomas. I am always mindful of the information I give to you as I would never wish to compromise the natural progression of your soul journey.”

Well, I guess in a way I’ve done that myself already. Back when I first saw you, Seth and Kirk, I think I changed the natural progression of my journey.

“That is not necessarily true Thomas, as that event in itself may truly be your soul’s natural progression. Just because something is unusual, or has not been done before, does not make it unnatural.”

Hey, I might be the first person in a new evolution of people who will be able to contact their soul guides when they want to! I never thought of it like that before.

Conversations with Omen XII

Alright, I’ve avoided this long enough, I guess I didn’t want to seem completely stupid in front of you. It’s just that I remember when I was kid and I was in a religious training school, I was always getting in trouble for asking questions that annoyed the teachers. I really had important questions though, and if I was going to believe what they were saying, I just needed a couple of answers. They thought I was being purposely silly, or obtuse, just to get a rise out of the rest of the kids.

“Were you?”

Was I what? Oh, trying to make the other kids crack up – yeah, I can admit that I was sometimes, but that wasn’t until it was made clear to me that my questions were not appreciated. In the very beginning though, I was completely serious. They’d tell some bible story that was amazing to me, but I always had a few questions about them. I was too young to realize that not all stories came with background information.

“Hmm, sounded a bit suspicious to you I imagine. Did they give you a reason for not answering your important questions?”

Not exactly, but I do remember one guy who tried to. He was the one who headed up the program; in a regular school he’d have been the Principal. Anyway, I was sent to see him after a particularly annoying question that got the whole class in an uproar. I’m pretty sure that he’d been front-loaded about who I was, or who they thought I was. He was super patronizing to me, and basically just said that I needed to have more faith in the biblical stories. I guessed that ‘more faith’ meant less curiosity in my case.

“That is a terrible way to treat a young and thirsty mind Thomas, did you ever find the answers you sought?”

Nope, I just had to swallow back the things I wanted to know more about, at least until I was at an age where I decided it was mostly bullshit.

“You have certainly piqued my curiosity now. Can you remember one of the questions you were so eager to know the answer to?”

Sure, but I don’t think they really have answers to them. If a story is made up, or more like a legend that was loosely based on a real event, I don’t think there’s supporting evidence for it.

“Perhaps you might just humor me and let me hear one?”

Alright, but don’t laugh at this okay? After hearing the story about Noah’s Ark, I was having a really tough time understanding why everything had to be wiped out in order to cleanse the world of it’s sinning. I mean, people did the sinning right? Not the land animals, or fish, or even the birds. And even if it were just kept to the people, I just couldn’t see how the people on the other side of the world – people who’d never even heard of the bible, or God, why they had to drown too. I quickly figured out that I was the only person in that little classroom who saw that story as something bizarre and horrific.

All of the other kids thought it was just fine for billions of animals and innocent people to get flooded out because the Old Testament God was all pissed off at his creations. In fact, that was one of the times I remember the other kids weren’t laughing along with me, they were laughing at me for being such a dork.

“Ahh, the human phenomenon of group-think in action. Thomas, I can assure you that there were many more kids in that class who would have loved to hear a real answer to your question – as they were feeling very much the same as you were. They saw the first kids laugh at you, and did the same so they would not get laughed at as well. Yet, that does not mean that they were not just as curious as you were.”

“Furthermore, I agree that a story such as the one of Noah’s Ark can not really be supported with factual evidences that might answer your skeptical questions. I find it saddening that they would not have thought to suggest that is was more of a parable. That might have satisfied your curiosity and removed some of the horror of the story.”

Yeah, that at least would have given me something to think about for a while.

“I have a feeling that this was not the entirety of what you came to ask me about though. Please allow yourself now to ask what it is that has been on your mind for so very long.”

Well… wow, this is still hard, even now. Um, okay, when I was told the Creation story – in the Christian theology anyway, it started with ‘In the beginning… and God making light, then the heavens and earth. Well, even as a kid, my mind went instantly to the question ‘what was God doing just before he made light?’ Was he just coasting along in the darkness of some great black void that would soon become the universe? Why in the world would he have done that? Well, like I said a minute ago, I don’t really believe that story anyway, but I do still wonder about the beginning of things. I can safely figure out that just about every religion’s ‘God, or Gods’ are really constructions of the Pure Love – so my question then transfers to it. What is the real creation story? What was the Pure Love doing before he made all of us?

“Before I begin to answer the questions put before me, allow me to preface a bit. First I must let you know that I do not know the entire answer to all of what you are asking me, but I do have some of it. I will answer you as completely as I can, but please keep in mind that I am not the Pure Love, who would know more. Second, and a more difficult notion, your use of the term ‘beginning’ is going to cause us some issues.”

Issues? Why’s that? I never thought of it as a tough concept before; things begin and things end.

“Thomas, you are thinking in linear time, the only way that time usually makes sense to the earthbound. Linear time, or a timeline if you prefer, presumes that one event precedes another, then another, and so on. Time always marches forward by your understandings, and that is a natural understanding having the type of lives you live. All humans are born, they age and they eventually die – beginnings and endings, very tidy. Yet, that is not how things are everywhere Thomas, and it would take a tremendous amount of time to explain why that is.”

You mean, like where you’re at, beyond our life here, time isn’t a constant?

“Time exists in a somewhat different way here Thomas. Your time is based on the observable universe that you live in, that many other life forms live in as well. Planetary movements around stars, galaxies moving in the universal space, and even the biological progressions are evidence of time as you know it. It might take a bit of imagination, but consider the idea that not everything has beginnings and endings as you know them, and that in some places time is not a straight line moving in one single direction.”

You’re right about it taking some imagination, it almost makes my brain hurt to try to think of time that way. But, even if time isn’t linear to you, there’s still a ‘present’ isn’t there? Such as ‘right now’ – us having this talk is the present, right?

“There is now, the place the consciousness is focused upon. If you can picture time being like a vinyl record, such as one in your collection; the present is the needle that sits in the groove of the recording. You can choose to set the needle down in any part of the recording and you will instantly hear what is in that spot. The ‘now’ becomes wherever the needle is at the moment of contact with the vinyl record, yet all of the other passages remain as well. It is not a perfect analogy, but perhaps it begins to illustrate the concept for you.”

So you can skip around through time? Just go visit any time that you want to and then head back to the present?

“In a manner of speaking, yes; and as a non-earthbound soul, you are free to do the same. Though it may be an interesting method to review one of your own past lives, most souls do not do this as often as you might be thinking they do.”

Have I done that?

“You and I have indeed reviewed one of your past earthbound lives. What is unexpected by many souls who have done so is the emotional upheaval that is often caused by this type of review.”

Wait, so you all have emotions there, just like we do here?

“Yes Thomas, but it may be more fairly said that humans have a similar emotional capacity to those of us in the afterlife – not the other way around. But, to answer you more fully, we are filled with emotions from the Pure Love. You still may retain a sense of that from your near-death experiences as an infant. A feeling of love and acceptance surrounds each time you come back to this place.”

You feel emotional all the time there? What’s that like?

“Can you recall witnessing a scene, either in person or a recorded event that overwhelmed you with positive emotions? I know that your entertainments are replete with such scenes, although you do have to be open to the experience. But, when you have seen and experienced such a scene, one is filled with an upheaval of loving emotions, and most often tears are brought up as well. That is somewhat akin to what a soul feels here, and yes, all of the time.”

Wow, that’s crazy, how can you stand feeling like that all of the time?

“Are you saying that the times you had experienced emotions such as those, that you did not like it?”

No, I don’t mean it like that, but it’s a lot to handle. Sometimes it’s embarrassing too, if other people see you all teary-eyed and sniffling. Like you said, it’s overwhelming; and it’s kind of uncomfortable when it happens.

“What you are describing is discomfort then, not dislike. Insecurity in displaying your true emotions in the presence of others is a common human trait. Generally the older one gets, the more life experience one has, the easier it becomes to allow others to see the true you. When one gets to such a place they feel those emotions even more deeply, because they are not distracted from them by self-consciousness. As a soul in the afterlife, there is no self-consciousness to contend with and we are free to feel the depth and width of our emotions.”

That sounds pretty great, a little scary, but great. I also know you’re right about the age thing, I was way more self-conscious when I was younger. I feel like I grew into my emotional side when I got to be around forty years old. Now days a sad commercial on the TV can make me tear up. It’s sort of silly, but I still think it’s a good emotional place to be.

Conversations with Omen XI

We’ve spoken recently about the number of lives on earth some souls live through, and I’d like to ask a couple of questions about that, if you don’t mind.

“Ask what you wish to, Thomas.”

Well, I’m sure you know that there’s a huge number of people here who believe in reincarnation, I think at least one major religion teaches that it’s a fact. I was just thinking about how the followers of reincarnation also usually believe in karma too. If someone does something bad to someone else, sooner or later something bad happens to them too. Well, at least it’s something like that, I’m certainly no expert, but that’s the gist anyway. I think some also believe that if you live an evil life this time you’ll live a miserable one the next go-around. What I was wondering was, is any of that even remotely true?

“Just as you realize that your explanation is a generalization of the beliefs of a spiritual group, my answer to your question may also seem general and non-specific. The general notion of reincarnation is clearly based upon a soul’s life-journeys on earth, and it is generally true. But, the absoluteness in your description of karma is most definitely not how things work in a soul’s journey of growth. One might think from the way you described it that karma is just a delayed ‘eye for an eye’ concept of justice. This is not at all what the teachings of many religions and philosophies are saying. Like many spiritual and religious ideas, the meaning of karma has been modified over time – often manipulated to serve the purposes of those doing the teaching.”

So the people in power will change the meaning of it to make people behave in a certain way?

“Yes, that is one of the ways it happens, but sometimes the meanings are just altered slightly to fit the belief systems of the group, or person, doing the teachings. If you can allow yourself to imagine far enough back in your history, to a time when teachings were in the oral tradition, you can understand how meanings shifted from teacher to teacher. Yet, even when religious tenants and philosophies were written, they were still subject to reinterpretation by those who did the transcribing, or those who paid to have it done.”

Okay, I get that part, but how does, or did, karma really work?

“Again, I am not so much describing karma as an actuality, but trying to elucidate for you how the concept came to be. Even in its original definition, karma does somewhat dovetail into your understandings of justice and fairness. Humans, as far back in your history as you may go, have always had a notion of fairness. Therefore, they also understood unfairness as well, as they cannot really be parted from each other. People would naturally observe incidents of unfairness and feel that what they were witnessing did not feel ‘right’. This would lead to the idea that fairness was a more desirable way to have things.”

“Karma became an accepted idea many centuries ago, when people first were creating stories explaining why things were they way they were. With the concept of fairness in mind, karma became a favored concept amongst people who were treated unfairly. It became an idea that brought hope to many people who were not of a privileged stature or class. Those people would imagine that the very ones mistreating them would themselves one day pay a comeuppance for their evil deeds. Add to that the idea that if one practiced good deeds towards others, they would be rewarded at some future time. These concepts brought great hope to those who might have otherwise had very little of it, but they do not reflect or describe how the soul journey actually works.”

So, the Pure Love isn’t keeping score and doing its best to make everything fair?

“No Thomas, the Pure Love may know how one’s soul journey is progressing, but does not interfere with the earthbound. I think you will remember our discussion about what you judge as right and wrong, and how that does not apply on this side. There are myriad reasons as to why a human would be unfair, mean or even cruel to others – and even more complexities as to how that fits into so many other soul journeys. Remember that one human’s cruelty may exist to teach ten thousand others to rise up against such behavior and endeavor to diminish it in the future.”

Sometimes there seems like there’s a high price to pay for such a lesson. Hitler was one seriously evil man and millions of people died before he was finally overthrown. That would be unbelievably screwed-up if it was just to teach everyone a world-lesson on the ills of dictatorships.

“I would not, and could not, tell you that there was only one simple lesson in such a horrific world event as that Thomas. Your ability to condense an unfathomably complex event into a two dimensional occurrence is startling I must say. You cannot reduce historical world events down to such a simple question. The deeds that humans do, both terrible and good, are not scripted events as in a play or movie. I know I have told you that there are some major life events that a soul may be aware of before they become earthbound, but that is in no way indicating that all living beings are just going through an elaborate script. Every single life is has control of their destiny and is free to choose their path.”

So, then in some other scenario Hitler could have been hit by a car back when he was young, and the world would have been saved from all his crazy murdering?

“Certainly, or he could have chosen to take his own life, had he been suffering from depression or some other malady. But, this sort of reimagining of the past is pointless other than to illustrate the truth of complete free-will amongst you. A better use of the imagination is to picture the endless possibilities of one’s future.”

I’ve got to admit that I’ve never believed in predestination, even though a lot pf people talk about it like it’s a given. Preachers espousing ‘God’s will’ for this or that, it’s always seemed more like they’re just telling people what they want, but using God’s name. But, according to you the Pure Love doesn’t magically communicate his wishes to the earthbound souls.

“That is true Thomas, the concept of ‘God’s will’ is a unique human construct. If there were any communications of what the Pure Love did, or did not want from people, more likely it would be a guide such as myself that would be the one to deliver a message. Again, that is just fodder for the imagination, as I have told you that the Pure Love does not interfere here. I do wish to reassure you of one thing Thomas, most souls follow their life paths that they agreed upon before becoming earthbound. It is usually only under very extreme and unpredictable circumstances that an earthbound soul diverts from the path that was chosen.”

So, no ‘rogue’ souls huh?

“In all of my time as a guide I have witnessed very few willfully misguided souls. The few I can think of mostly chose paths that were better for them overall. Although they diverted from what they had set out to do originally, they ended up living lives that were richer and fuller than they had set out to. When their earthbound time ended, they and their guides were usually both quite pleased.”

Conversations with Omen X

>> You know, Omen, this whole process reminds me of college, taking classes and exams in order to receive a degree. I’m not trying to diminish the soul journey, but it sure is a coincidence that they seem so much the same.

>>“There are many human social constructs that mimic the processes on this side, Thomas. It is not coincidence so much as it is souls, in human lives, creating social structures that feel familiar to them on some level. Many souls, especially ones who have had many earthbound lives, retain vague impressions from this side. Their experience and wisdom shines through even in human form.”

But, how can anyone possibly remember things from the other side? Other than those markers you told me about, it seems like we’re wiped pretty clean at birth.

“Allow me to use a metaphor; picture the mind as seashore, where ocean meets land. The ocean is our life actions, the beachfront is the mind. Memories are made in the vast expanse of sand; perhaps you can picture them as sand-castles. Some stay the test of time, others fall apart over the years of your life and are gone. Now, imagine that when some are born, making the transition from pure energy to earthbound life form, there are grains of that sand that retain some understanding of their soul life. Those grains do not a memory make, but they still have some imagery or feeling to them. As the mind scans that shore for memories and information it occasionally passes over one of those grains and feels something – imagines something that although incomplete still seems familiar.”

So, in our current computer terms, it’s like a bit of memory. Not really enough to make up a command, but still holds on to something?

“Yes, that is a sufficient analogy for this discussion. That small grain that was retained at the time of birth is enough to have what you call a notion, enough to trigger an idea sometimes. Your observation of how soul-growth resembles your college programs is understandable given this information. Education, examination and reaching goals are akin to what a soul’s path is here. If you recall your history, the original colleges were assemblies of persons who desired to learn.”

Like a soul and its guide, right? Together you examine the life they just returned from and make a plan for their next one.

“Exactly, and a soul who may have been through that process many times is more likely to retain more grains of the experience with each new life.”

I imagine that back when people were getting together to create social institutions like colleges, or even governments, that some already had a notion of what would work the best.

“Yes, it is quite likely that in any sizeable group of people there would be some who retain some grains of memory from this side, and have that influence their ideas. Although, your history has many examples of societies that did not seem to have been influenced by anything a soul had retained from here. Dictatorships and Juntas do not appear to be modeled after anything that I have ever experienced.”

True, I can see that, but what about monarchies?

“There is a good chance that social structures of that type were misguidedly based on memories of the Pure Love. The feeling that there is something greater than ourselves is a common one in the earthbound souls. It is very obvious that the bulk of religions are made from that exact notion, but not many realize that monarchies come from the same feelings. The difference being that the latter group elevates another earthbound soul as the one deserving worship and reverence.”

Are there really no humans that are better than the rest of us? I’m not really talking about Kings and other royalty, but just anyone. You’ve mentioned ‘old souls’ before, aren’t they kind of better than the rest of us in some way?

“No Thomas, not in the way you are presenting it at least. There are millions of humans who deserve recognition for the acts that they have done, or the way they have chosen to live their lives. That does not make them better than other humans, but it is their choices and behavior that distinguish them. Most will not receive any kind of recognition or appreciation, but they continue to live in ways that are fine examples to all others. They know something important that many others do not; helping your fellow human beings is the single most satisfying occupation one can spend their life doing.”

A ‘life of service’ is what we call it here, and I’ve read stories about people who have dedicated their lives to doing good things for people. I guess I’ve never thought about how may more there might be who just quietly go about helping others. Not that they seek that out or anything, I really do believe that it just makes you feel good about yourself no matter what. I’ve done some volunteer work in my past, and I keep meaning to do it again… I just keep putting it off. I suppose I haven’t decided what it is I want to do. I hope I’m not just kidding myself.

“You mean internally imagining that you will serve others again at some point in time, but not actually making it true?”

Yeah, I’m good at that sometimes. I have the best intentions, but I don’t follow through with what I think I am going to do. I don’t get that either, I mean if we’re good souls with all of the inspiration of the Pure Love in us, how do we get so astray from our higher intentions?

“The human mind is a fusion of physical properties and the soul that brings life to it. It is vastly complicated the way the mind and soul interact together, in some ways even I do not yet fully understand all of it. When the soul enters the human body, at your birth, it is much like the engine of an automobile starting. The body being the physical engine, and the soul being the spark that ignites it into life. Yet, the outcome is fantastically unpredictable because of myriad factors. As the soul settles into the body, the mind is created and becomes a living and growing being. Beyond the physical factors are also your life experiences, your interactions with those that are formative in your life, and your developed internal dialog.”

My internal dialog? How does that make me who I am, or affect my life’s outcome? It’s just me thinking about stuff in my own head.

“Thomas, your internal dialog is the personification of your soul/body fusion. It is what you know as your personality, as it is with everyone else you know. Your own internal voice is what you reason with, it is what you measure and decide with, and it is what you base your idea of normal upon. Certainly you have encountered persons in your life who are decidedly different than not only yourself, but anyone you have ever met before. They behave differently, they speak differently and they definitely think differently than you do. If you could eavesdrop on their internal dialog you would only hear a completely unintelligible foreign language. Each being has an internal dialog that is completely different than every other, much like a fingerprint.”

I had no idea Omen, I suppose I just thought that everyone hears their own thoughts in their own voice, kind of like I do. I hadn’t even thought if it as a dialog before you put it that way, but I agree with you now, it really is like an ongoing conversation with myself.

“It is that very conversation that is essentially the person that you see yourself as Thomas. That dialog is what you think with, and make decisions with – it is what you measure the rest of the world with as well. A person such as yourself, rational, intelligent and kind, will interact with others in the way you have been taught – and you feel is right. But, others who do not share your way of thinking or behaving are not defective somehow; they just have a vastly different internal conversation. In fact, in rare cases some are in a form of mental pain that you may not even be aware is possible. Their internal dialog is like two grinding stones, constantly and abrasively turning every experience into a painful dust as they methodically reexamine every interaction they ever have.”

Wow, that sounds awful, isn’t there some way to help those people? It sounds like a pretty bad way to go through life.

“Thomas, sometimes those very people are the most brilliant in a society – and sometimes they are the ones who go mad. The notion of helping them may be well-intentioned, but typically unnecessary. They are making their way through a life just as you are, and the fact that they think differently than you do is just a footnote. You must remember that everyone thinks differently, even those that you believe think much as you do… they do not think exactly like you do.”

I get that, and I don’t think that I have ever expected that anyone I know thinks just exactly the way I do, but I can admit that I figured people thought in the same manner as I do. I mean that in kind of a mechanical way, as in, they think operationally the same way I do.

“I am afraid that even that much of a generalization still does not hold true. As I said earlier, the fusion of soul and body is quite complex and the mind that develops from that fusion is yet another degree of complexity. Humans do have so much in common with each other, much more than most realize, but their minds are not one of those things. Let me illustrate one last concept to help you understand this better. You believe that you are thinking in your own language, correct?”

Sure, I think in English, and my inner dialog is the same. I’d be pretty sure that everyone in any country around the world thinks in their native language, whatever it is.

“Therefore, by your reasoning, the deaf must not be able to think at all, or enjoy an inner dialog either – yet, clearly they do.”

Well, they probably think in images I guess.

“Then those that are unfortunately both deaf and blind must not be able to think.”

I’m not saying that, I just don’t know how they do it. I really can’t even begin to imagine how they think about things, it must be really different.

“I am not trying to trap you Thomas, I am only showing you that despite lack of both verbal language and sight, humans manage to think, and think well too. This is the complexity I was speaking of, the amazing plasticity and resilience of the human mind. The soul will not be diminished by physical impairments, it will find a way to be known.”

Conversations with Omen IX

You’ve told me a lot about how souls and their guides work out what that soul needs to learn in their next life on earth. It actually makes a lot of sense to me, and I feel like sometimes I can even glimpse what some of my objectives are. But, is there any way I can know whether I’m succeeding or failing in whatever my pre-life plan was? How can I know if I’m fulfilling what I’ve set out to learn in this life right now?

“Is there something in particular that you feel that you are not accomplishing, Thomas?”

Well, it’s just a feeling I get randomly. I realize that I don’t absolutely know what my soul-plan here is, but I do get feelings sometimes that I can’t explain. Feelings like I’m stagnant, or not going in the right direction in my life. I’ll feel like I’m receding instead of proceeding. Yet, at other times I can get a feeling of pure bliss for no reason, like everything in my life is just perfect.

“Almost all earthbound souls do not remember what their life goals are that they agreed upon with their guides. Once born into an earthly body, you must use your own feelings and experience to navigate your life plan. The feelings that you are speaking of may indeed be accurate markers of your progress, or lack of it.”

Markers? I guess I’m not sure how you mean that.

“I apologize, it is a term we all use on this side, a simplification of a complex process. A soul can only know the most significant event points of their coming earthbound life, the bulk of that life is fluid and unknowable. Your soul-group peers are important to your earthbound life, so we set markers in an attempt at recognition. As an example, your life has already crossed paths with several of your peers you have known for a very long time. Souls you feel tremendous love for, and wish to be with in your current life. But, because you otherwise may not recognize them in human form, you set markers to tip your memory. Do you remember meeting your friend Renee? You first saw a photograph of her before you met her. Do you remember having a feeling as you first looked at her photo?”

Yeah, I do, there was something about the way she looked. Her eyes and her unusual hairstyle caught my attention. Not in a ‘romantic attraction’ kind of way, but something intrigued me about her. She even told me that she had the same kind of thoughts after seeing my picture. I just had this feeling that I’d meet her in-person someday and we’d become friends.

“Of course you did, because you had both set a marker to recognize each other. Those souls that we are closest to will often intermingle with our lives – when we truly want to share some part of that life with them, markers are set to trigger some intuition between us. These are quite subtle though, and many are missed completely, written off as just an odd feeling. More experienced souls learn to trust those feelings, and move in the direction that they guide one towards.”

That actually explains a lot for me, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had those feelings around people I randomly run into. But, back to my original question which I don’t think I explained very well; sometimes I get a feeling like I’ve failed someone. Like when I look back at past relationships and the people I was in them with, and I feel like I could have, or should have done a lot better.

“When you say that you feel as if you have failed them, do you mean that you think there was a goal to achieve and you did not do so?”

I don’t know if it’s a goal per se, but when I consider some personal relationships I’ve had – especially ones that ended badly – I feel like I failed at something. It feels like there was something I was supposed to learn with them, and that it didn’t happen.

“I see. Perhaps I can frame this in a different construct for you, to aid in your understanding of your feelings. The goals of a soul’s earthbound life are indeed important, and are often not met until well in to that life. In other words, there may be many attempts in one’s life to achieve a certain goal before they are successful. However, not learning a lesson that is part of a life-goal is not a failure Thomas. Even if you went through an entire life and did not accomplish your decided goal, that life is not seen as a failure. So much more goes on in a human life, myriad interactions with other lives that cannot be judged so easily. The complex weave of the interactions of different lives is akin to a four-dimensional puzzle, and difficult for the human mind to comprehend.”

I get that part, I guess, but the other people who may have been there for me to learn from – and I didn’t – don’t they lose out on something too? I mean, had I learned whatever I was supposed to, wouldn’t they also feel like they accomplished something as well? Maybe they had a similar goal to mine, and we both missed our chance to finish it?

“I think I see where this is coming from now, Thomas. I believe you are starting from a false premise and therefore your conclusions are misguided. The ending of an intimate relationship can be quite an emotional upheaval, and it is not uncommon for one or both parties to fall into a cycle of introspection. A reexamination of difficult interactions, choices and events that may have led to the relationship ending. Blaming yourself, or the other party, can be part of the emotional recovery one goes through. However, given enough time, one may eventually gain a more balanced perspective when reconsidering the relationship.”

“Whether a relationship lasts for days, or decades, there are usually many lessons learned about oneself. Sometimes it is the very thick emotional compounds created by the individuals in the relationship that make it difficult to see those lessons until quite some time later. You are a soul of uniquely deep emotions Thomas, and I have seen you go through long periods of deep introspection after a relationship had ended for you. You spend quite a bit of time attempting to find the exact cause of the relationship’s demise, yet I have never heard you conclude that you were simply not compatible.”

You mean like a no-fault auto accident? It wasn’t me, it wasn’t her, it was just that we weren’t compatible? To answer you, I would have to say no, I’ve never come to that particular conclusion before. I guess I have always thought that two people who are attracted to each other, and who get along well, should be able to have a long term relationship. I know it’s not automatic, and it takes a lot of work, but it still seems like it should work out if both parties are willing to keep trying.

“I know you really do feel that way, but perhaps you are missing something very important. Human beings are fantastically complex Thomas, each with a unique mind and life experience. The fact that two of those beings can occasionally come together and actually have a successful long term relationship is an amazing accomplishment. More often than not, they are two souls who have had other lifetimes together where they were also close in some relationship. Occasionally, though, there are some who come together by random circumstance and have a genuine relationship blossom from it. That being said, you must realize that there are innumerable relationships that do not work out in the manner you think of as a success – many times more often than the ones that work out well.”

So, you’re saying that even if I were a completely grounded and emotionally balanced individual, that I could still have failed relationships?

“Oh Thomas, yes, of course that is true because it is not entirely up to you. Simply look at the number of psychological professionals who have lived through the ending of their own romantic relationships. As wise as they may be, and as much as they may know about themselves and others, they still have relationships that do not work out – even when the relationship might be between two of those counseling professionals. One might think that two smart and experienced emotional counselors could forge a wonderful romance, but statistically their divorce rate is somewhat higher than non-professionals. It simply is not about what you know or how hard you try, people are far too complex for that to be so.”

“Thomas, if, when you look back at your previous relationships, you find you have mistreated someone – just by recognizing that, you have learned and grown. Yes, you may have the opportunity, on occasion, to make amends to someone, but that is somewhat rare. Most of the time you do not have such a chance, but seeing your part and acknowledging it – that is growth in itself. You did not fail that person, nor yourself, when your relationship ended. Every relationship you have in your life, romantic or platonic, are all vehicles of emotional growth.”

I’ve made some bad decisions, and I even betrayed a partner once, but I’ve never been the abusive type. I’ve said things that I wish I could take back, and I have done some things out of anger too. In the case where I was unfaithful, I was pretty young and prone to bad decision making back then. I think my self-worth was based on who was attracted to me, and who I could get into bed. That particular relationship ended so badly that I didn’t have a chance to apologize to her, and I still feel a lot of guilt about it some thirty years later.

“Guilt is a form of self-punishment Thomas, based upon your inner judgments of your own behavior. It is much like remorse, which is also based on your behavior, but less in judgment. Remorse is based more in reflecting on your interactions with others and seeing how you could have done things differently. Remorse has a component of wanting to be better, and seeing how you can actually do so. You cannot truly know how any given relationship fits into the fabric of what you need to learn. After all, recovering from heartbreak in a healthy way is a very valuable lesson for one to master, as is self-forgiveness.”

Well, guilt, or remorse aside; will I have to answer to her in the afterlife once we’re both passed on?

“Again, Thomas, you are thinking in simple dualities. Right and wrong, good or bad, rewards or punishments. As we have spoken of before, those do not exist on this side. You do not answer to any other soul for the things you have done in an earthbound life. You examine your own life, learn from it, and move on from there. Each time, each life, learning greater and deeper lessons which will bring you closer to the Pure Love.”

You know, Omen, this whole process reminds me of college, taking classes and exams in order to receive a degree. I’m not trying to diminish the soul journey, but it sure is a coincidence that they seem so much the same.

“There are many human social constructs that mimic the processes on this side, Thomas. It is not coincidence so much as it is souls, in human lives, creating social structures that feel familiar to them on some level. Many souls, especially ones who have had many earthbound lives, retain vague impressions from this side. Their experience and wisdom shines through even in their human form.”